MIL in the Delivery Room: Yes or No?



MIL mother in law in the delivery room

Photo by Punkylu78


The question of who would be with me in the delivery room was an easy one -- I wanted my partner there, and no one else. Mom, extended family, friends? No thanks! But every mom-to-be is different.

When I interviewed Heather Armstrong (dooce) about her new book, she said her mom, sister, and stepdad were in the room with her and her husband when she gave birth. She wanted them to share in that intimate experience.

And I just read a post concerning this particular family member -- what about your mother-in-law in the delivery room? (Cafe Suzanne recently asked moms who've already delivered about MILs in attendance, too.)

Is she welcome when you give birth?


Would you have your MIL in the delivery room?

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labor & delivery, the pregnant life


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Brieshon Brieshon

Ideally, I would like my mom, stepmom, and sister in the room, but my dad, stepdad and brother would be welcome. Not sure who would be watching the kids during all of this though, lmao. I wouldn't really want my MIL to be there, mostly because we aren't close at all, and she was an awful mom, but really, I probably wouldn't even notice who was in the room - I didn't realize until after my twins were out that there were like 10+ staff in the room (they were preemies). Guess I had something else on my mind, lol. I just hope my family can make it in time this time - most of them live about 5 hours away!

Matri... Matriarchy

Mine was in the room but I voted no. we didnt get along still don't. She insisted and my hubby wanted iher in there, I did it for him. I regret it she was mean and cold didn't even hugg me or congratulate me- nothing. so sad she won't be in the others for sure hubby agrees that she won't be either... 

Night... NightMarezMommy

I said no. The only ones in the room other than hospital staff were my husband and my daughter's Godmother. My WHOLE family was in the waiting room when she was born, so everyone was a part of it. My MIL came to visit right when visiting hours were over the next day with my SIL and her kids(6 mos and 7 years), and another nephew (5 years)...I was so pissed! How the hell is she going to come with all of those kids to the hospital? The kids were touching everything, and whining and arguing...I'm glad she wasn't there for the birth...

zorrokat zorrokat

Everyone has their own preferences about this. When my son was born I had his father and my mom in the room. My MIL would have been welcome, but she's 1100 miles away and it just wasn't practical. I wouldn't want my male relatives seeing the cooch, but they could wait outside during the graphic parts.

jenni... jenniamigo

I personally think that childbirth is an experience for mom and dad alone. But I was in the room for my best friend with her mother so to each thier own I just know for me I wouldn't do it. I told everyone not to even worry about coming by beforehand I didn't want visitors until after the baby was born

Fallaya Fallaya

I didn't allow my SO's mom in the room at all!  If I would have, she would have made the whole thing about HER, just like she did during my pregnancy.  I didn't want to share that special time with her.  I just had my SO there.  If we have more children, it will be the same way.  It was so beautiful to see my SO's expression when our daughter was put on my chest for the first time.  Those memories will only be shared between the two of us!

Alexs... Alexsmom04

Hell No. No one but my DH is allowed in the room.

kdd1209 kdd1209

Speaking as a mother-in-law , I would say to please include her if she wants to be there. I have been with my stepdaugher with both of hers and also with  my own daughters. I was also going to be in the room when my  only daughter-in - law delivered, but she went into labor 3 wks early. Since I live in a different state I just couldn't get there in time. She is expecting again and I am gonna bust my butt to be there. It is one of the most amazing things I have ever seen and I would be terribly hurt if I wasn't allowed to share in it.  JMHO

tyheamma tyheamma

I had my mom in the room for my daughter's delivery even though I really didn't want her there. It was WAY important to her and I didn't have the energy to fight it, so I didn't. As for my MIL... she really is a "call me and I'll come see the baby at home" kind of woman, though if they weren't in Hawai'i whale watching at that exact moment, they probably would have been in the waiting room.

Scribble Scribble

I have to go with no...well, hell no actually....the woman hates me for one, puts one guilt trip after another on my fiance and is just a horrible woman...she's the last person I would ever want there. She's probably going to flip when she finds out we're having the baby at home!

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