MIL in the Delivery Room: Yes or No?

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MIL mother in law in the delivery room

Photo by Punkylu78

 

The question of who would be with me in the delivery room was an easy one -- I wanted my partner there, and no one else. Mom, extended family, friends? No thanks! But every mom-to-be is different.

When I interviewed Heather Armstrong (dooce) about her new book, she said her mom, sister, and stepdad were in the room with her and her husband when she gave birth. She wanted them to share in that intimate experience.

And I just read a post concerning this particular family member -- what about your mother-in-law in the delivery room? (Cafe Suzanne recently asked moms who've already delivered about MILs in attendance, too.)

Is she welcome when you give birth?

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Would you have your MIL in the delivery room?

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Total Votes: 378

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labor & delivery, the pregnant life

78 Comments

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lil_a... lil_akangel

i picked I'm not sure,i would let her if my hubby couldn't be there or my other options couldn't make it

ilove... ilovemyson2002

no i dont have a mil with my 1st son it was just me n boyfriend n a friend n the docto n the nurses and with my 2nd son it was just my doctor n the nurse in the room because my boy friend had to keep my son out in the hall way until after i gave birth

Erica... Erica_Smerica

My mother told me at a young age that she absolutly would not be in the delivery room with me. I was crushed.


When I got pregnant with my first, I wanted a doula. My first thought was my MIL. I'm glad i didn't just because I enjoyed having just my husband there- but if I ever felt like someone else needed to be in the room it would definitly be my MIL. She is amazing :D

Mikaella Mikaella

I answered yes. Although she was not present for the birth of my first two children.  With our first she could not get out of work and the hospital only allowed 2 people so my hubby and mom were there.  With our second she could not be there because she was the one who was taking care of our son while I was at the hospital.  I just found out I am pregnant with our third child and if it is possible and if she would like to be present I would let her be there.  My MIL is a very kind good hearted woman.  She is not your typical pushy over-bearing MIL.  I've been fortunate to have wonderful in-laws.  They have always been there for my husband for me and for our children.  I understand the other ladies on here though.  If you don't have the best relationship with your MIL you have every right to pass on her being there for the delivery.  I'm very lucky to have such great in-laws but I know not everyone is as lucky lol.

hanna... hannahmoss

my mil was in there when i gave birth to my daughter but i didnt want her to be ... i was hurting so bad that i didnt care at that point who was in there as long as the baby got out safe and healthy

litls... litlsuzzy

maybe, I love my MIL  she's a sweet woman. she lost her daughter at the age of 3 so I might let her in the room if my mom was going to be there. I wouldn't want her to feel left out. both her and my mom where in the room with me for a portion of my labor with my first. 

shani... shanibug06

Yes, my MIL was in the room when I had my 2 yr old DD. I actually wanted both our moms in the room but my parents live in NC and couldn't come until 2 days after my DD ws born. My mom  was in the delivery room with my 2 older kids as well.

madam... madamekatekate

I said no but not because I hate my MIL or anything, lol. It's just a very private thing for me...I want my husband (since he made the baby with me, he's got an idea of what's down there.) and my mom (I can't really be modest around her...She pushed me out of her 21 years ago! Besides...She's very comforting to have around, lol.) there but that's it. I'll be glad to have as many people in the waiting room that want to come wait to see the baby though.


It's not really an issue at all though...My MIL understands that it's private and she wouldn't really feel comfortable there anyhow with the blood and what not...I feel sorry for women whose MILs are adament and hellbent on being there.

prego... prego_emt

I'm saying yes because my MIL is amazing.  I haven't had any problems with her, like I read in some horror stories, and I count my blessings every day for such a great one.  Also, my MIL couldn't have children of her own and even though her and my FIL adopted both of their boys from birth, they were not present for either of the births, so that is something I would like to give her.  Plus, there is a chance my mother may not be able to make it in time when I go into labor, and I want one of my mothers there!  My MIL is also a nurse and worked in Obstectrics for several years before moving to a family practice to have more time at home.

ccspi... ccspiratemama

I voted not sure b/c I have two different situations. With my first daughter my MIL was in the delivery room. I didn't know she would be, but I was OK with it because we got along really well (the only problem was that she wanted to film the birth and I did NOT want that)... with my new little one (different daddy) I have not even met my SO's mother yet- she lives in a different state and is not on the greatest of terms with my SO. I wouldn't let a sranger into the delivery room, so no... not this time around.

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