I love being black. I do. I thank God for all of my cultural idiosyncrasies and inherent Africanisms. I’m proud of who I am and the people I come from. It’s an honor to be born into a race of folks whose creativity and intellect and power helped shape the world as we know it.

But that being said, I can’t hop on this bandwagon that homebirth brings black women closer to our African heritage. I’ll immerse myself in a native language, I’ll shell out a few grand to fly to the mother continent and trace my Guinean roots. Heck, I’ve already dedicated thousands of dollars and thousands more hours studying our history for a master’s degree in African-American studies.

But if and when I ever find myself pregnant again, I’ll have my baby in a hospital, thank you very much. If something goes haywire — Lord forbid — I want all the bells and whistles of modern science by my side to save me or my child.

Being pregnant is pretty amazing, isn't it? The whole "glowing" thing kinda rules (if that happens to you - I only "glowed" after I vomited). Explaining why you're eating two cheeseburgers becomes a lot easier when you can say, "I'm eating for two!" And having a new life whirling around inside you, well, that's one of the most incredible feelings on the planet!

However, being pregnant comes with some pitfalls. Mainly, other people. Something about seeing a pregnant woman makes them think they can say and do anything they please.

Here are 3 of the rudest things people you know -- and people you don't -- will do while you're pregnant.

We all know how pregnancy brings about plenty of weirdness. You're growing a whole new person inside you, how could that not be weird? Weird symptoms. Weird feelings. Weird cravings.

But the unexpected weirdness that comes along with pregnancy is probably the most irritating: the impractical advice.

It comes from every angle, the unsolicited pregnancy advice, until you're ready to hide under the bed (presuming, of course, you'd fit), until those nine long months are over. From the checkout girl at the grocery store. Your mother-in-law. Ladies in the waiting room. In elevators. You can't go anywhere without someone spouting some sort of impractical advice.

Here are my favorites.

In a previous life, I was a nurse.

I know, I know, it's hard to believe that I was, at one point, ever in charge of keeping people alive, but it's the truth. Got the fancy diploma to prove it!

In a previous life, I was also pregnant. And, even with my nursing training, I was an idiot.

(try not to look so surprised)

Here's my favorite embarrassing pregnancy story.

I have the approximate dimensions of a daddy long-legs spider while gestating, which means that I'm all baby with spindly legs attached. I have, you see, no appreciable torso. Which means that the moment I am five minutes pregnant with child, I look about five months pregnant.

Pregnancy. It's the most joyful time in a woman's life ... or is it?

While growing a new life inside of you is easily one of the most miraculous things a woman can experience, there are an awful lot of weird things that go along with it.

These are the kind of things I've never seen in any of my pregnancy handbooks, but through word-of-blog, I learned that I was not the only one.

So here you have it: five of the most horrifying pregnancy symptoms you'll never hear about.

Pregnancy is a game-changer. Not only does your life change forever, but your day-to-day becomes much different. One of the most stressful things can often be how hard pregnancy can be on the body. Sure you may be glowing, but those aches and pains, heartburn, and hemorrhoids are making you cranky. To top it all off, you can't just go taking a lot of medicine since many things aren't safe or the effects aren't really known when it comes to the baby inside your belly.

If you're planning on going a more natural or home-based route, or just want some easy pregnancy-safe OTC meds, I've got some suggestions approved by doctors.

I have a dirty little secret. I hate Thanksgiving. I know, I know. I'm a very bad person. It's a wonderful holiday about family and close friends coming together, remembering all we're grateful for. It's about cooking and eating a lovely, traditional meal shared long ago by two different cultural groups, the Pilgrims and the Indians. Or something.

But I'm sorry, I just can't get excited about having the same old food every year on a cold, gray, dark late-November day and over-eating until you feel like you're going to die. Not to mention the fact that you're so tired from ingesting all that tryptophan in the turkey and gorging on a huge meal in the middle of the afternoon that you're ready for bed by 5 p.m.

Yes, if there's one holiday I could definitely do without, it's Thanksgiving. It's really just a celebration of that deadly sin called gluttony, isn't it? But this year I've found a pretty creative way to avoid the whole thing altogether. I'm going to have a baby.

As far as the mainstream media is concerned, unplanned births are big, scary emergencies. Very often on TV we see people doing ridiculous things at all costs just to get a laboring mom to the hospital or emergency teams to her. Why? Because most women aren't prepared whatsoever to birth without professionals. But an unplanned home birth doesn't have to be such a big, scary emergency. In fact, according to Marye Audet, who wrote the online guide, "How to Deliver a Baby at Home (Emergency Situation)," it can have happy results.