What to Say When a Friend Miscarries

miscarriage what to say when a friend miscarries

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Miscarriage is a sad and scary topic, but one that some mamas will face. Cafe Cynthia posted here earlier in the week about moms naming their miscarried babies. For some, it's a way to deal with the grief; for others, it's just too hard to go there.

I know women who've miscarried, but luckily, no one I've been really close to has been through it. What do you say when a friend miscarries? How do you help her through it?

From some CafeMoms who've been there, here are some words of wisdom.


-- Just say if you need to talk, I'm here. Don't tell her the baby's in a better place, don't tell her everything happens for a reason. I've been through two miscarriages, and it's the hardest thing I've ever gone through.

-- One thing I didn't want to hear was: "I know exactly what you're going through." No one but me knew what I was going through. I also didn't want to hear maybe it was for the best, or, you can always try again. I just wanted to be told that someone was sorry for my loss.

-- Tell a friend that you're sorry and there for her when she needs you.

-- Just be there, and if she wants to talk, just listen.

-- Send her a link to a CafeMom group for moms who have miscarried. She may look into it when she feels ready. CafeMom groups have gotten me through some very tough times.

If you've experienced miscarriage, what did friends and family do or say that helped you?

Or if a friend of yours has recently lost a baby, how did you try to offer support?

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