Did You Do IVF? Will You Tell Your Baby?

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will you tell your baby you used an egg donorCafe Suzanne visiting the Pregnancy Buzz today ...

Did you use fertility treatments—IUI, IVF, a sperm donor, an egg donor—to get pregnant? Have you told people about it—friends, family, co-workers? Deciding whether to tell the world (or even just one close friend) is a very personal choice, and some people are much more open about it than others.

I was going to try IVF, but the doctor wouldn't take me as a patient because of my age (I was 37). He told me I'd never have a baby without an egg donor, which wasn't something I wanted to pursue. Fortunately for me, he was wrong and I have a lovely daughter. So I never really had to decide if I'd tell people I did IVF or not.

One of my old co-workers did use an egg donor and she's not at all shy about broadcasting it to the world. Yet she had no intention of telling her daughter that she was conceived this way. But then she changed her mind. This woman had breast cancer at an early age, and both her mother and grandmother had it as well. She didn't want her daughter to grow up fearing the day she'd likely be diagnosed with the disease.

As far as health history goes, IVF is different, since your baby shares your genes. But it is a relatively new procedure and scientists are still researching the long-term (and short-term) affects of IVF on babies.

Of course, there's still plenty of time to make the decision of whether or not you'll tell your child that he or she is an "IVF baby," but is it something you've thought about yet? If anything, it would surely show your kid how much he was wanted.

Will you tell your child that you used fertility treatments to conceive him or her? Why or why not?


infertility, trying to conceive