More Things They Don't Tell You About Pregnancy & Motherhood

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things they don't tell you about pregnancy

Photo by wildchild24

Or, to be more accurate, maybe things they don't exactly tell you the whole truth about....

Cafe Cynthia wrote a very funny post here recently on Secrets They Keep From First-Time Moms. Now here's a (much shorter!) list from Sarah Vine and Tania Kindersley, authors of the new book Backwards in High Heels, of lies women tell each other about pregnancy and motherhood. (ie: It's all really so EASY!)

1. Even if you gain a lot of weight, it'll all just come right off afterward -- especially if you breastfeed.

2. Birth isn't really all that bad -- and your body's programmed to forget the pain.

3. Breastfeeding can be tricky at first, but you'll get the hang of it.

4. You get used to not having as much sleep as you used to.

5. The experience of looking after a newborn can really bring two people together.

Now, I have to say, birth and breastfeeding -- both of which I was nervous about -- did actually turn out to be easier for me than I expected. I felt lucky!

But I did hear that thing about the weight just falling off if you breastfeed and about getting used to less sleep and, a few years into motherhood, I'm STILL packing an extra 10 lbs and I'm still exhausted.

What do you think? Truth or lies?


labor & delivery, motherhood, the pregnant life

23 Comments

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katzm... katzmeow726

I've seen people prove number 1 true...and fast.  A friend of mine left the hospital weighing less than before she got pregnant (so not fair!!!)

madam... madamekatekate

1-I ate carefully and nutritiously and breastfed. I kept all my weight and ended up gaining more.


2-Labor and delivery are bad. Even if you forget afterwards. Whether you do it vaginally or have a c-section it doesn't matter. The ability to "forget" the pain does not make the pain anymore bearable.


3-Breastfeeding is tricky at first and most women figure it out. But some of us never really get a good hang of it even with all the help in the world.


4-You never "get used" to not having as much sleep. You just find ways to deal with it. Dealing and getting used to something are different things.


5-This is true. It normally does. But not for every little tender minute of it. The stress gets to everyone and you most likely will get into little feuds with your partner in the very least.

RanaA... RanaAurora

3. Breastfeeding can be tricky at first, but you'll get the hang of it.


That IS true.  As long as you get help from experienced people, breastfeeding should get easy QUICKLY.  Anyone who says otherwise didn't care to get help and improve it.


Weight gain all depends on the person.  A lot of women make the mistake of not eating ENOUGH while pregnant, so their body won't drop the pounds because it's storing food for the infant.

mom2q... mom2queenie2004

That IS true.  As long as you get help from experienced people, breastfeeding should get easy QUICKLY.  Anyone who says otherwise didn't care to get help and improve it.



This is true for you, not for all of us. I struggled for 3 months with my 2nd child and it did not get any better or any easier. Short arms and big hanging boobs....it just did not work for me.

madam... madamekatekate

RanaAurora, that's a really general statement-"Anyone who says otherwise didn't care to get help and improve it."


I normally leave you alone and am content to agree to disagree but that actually stands out as a very hurtful statement. To myself and other women who for whatever could not or did not breastfeed.


I never got the hang of breastfeeding. It was exceedingly hard. I sought the help of many lactation consultants and others with knowledge on the subject--Consistent, hands on help in my home for about 3 months and I still couldn't feed my baby exclusively with breastmilk.


For anyone to suggest that I "didn't care to get help and improve it," is beyond rude and a horrible horrible assumption.

katvi... katvixenstar

it took me almost two years to go back to my pre-pregnancy weight, and i breastfed until my daughter was 2.5. now i'm preggo again and weigh as much as i did right before she was born!!! oh well.

RanaA... RanaAurora

*sigh*  Everyone's looking to get offended today, huh?  Breastfeeding.  Gets.  Easier.    If it's hard, that's because something is wrong, either medically, or technique-wise.  Obviously, there are some things that are impossible to work through... but that's rare.
To the woman with "short arms and big boobs"... that's why there are a million different nursing positions.  Unless your breasts are the size of watermelons... you know what, I give up.  If that's your excuse, so be it.  You're entitled to it.


I would have assumed people would know that unique situations are exempt, but I forgot on CM you always have to have a disclaimer or people choose to be offended.

Alina456 Alina456

sorry i gained weight when i was breastfeeding cuz i was hungry all the time. still not use to less sleep either and my youngest is 17 months old. breast feeding is soooo hard i couldnt breastfeed my oldest cuz she had a hard time latching on. my second was super easy but she can eat. as soon as she came out she latched on to the nurses finger..lol. labor was super hard my kids were really large and i didnt take any meds. though i did forget a little on how painful it was.

heath... heatherama

Generally speaking, breastfeeding does get easier with time and practice.


Of course there are situations where it's going to be difficult no matter what and having help and support can really make a difference. I think that would be my tip. I wish that when I was pregnant with my first someone would have told me that breastfeeding is hard. You and baby both have to learn and just because it's natural doesn't mean it always comes naturally. Sometimes it does, but not always.

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