Should We Be Judging Nadya Suleman?

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I posted last week on IVF and who, if anyone, is at fault in the Nadya Suleman controversy. The doctor I spoke to said she thought the system had failed in the octo birth -- that the goal was too often a positive pregnancy test rather than focusing on a low-risk, healthy pregnancy. Never mind the issue of whether or not the parent in question can afford to take care of her 14 children. Cafe Kristen reported yesterday that Suleman told Dr. Phil Kaiser Permanente Medical Center may not let her take her babies home until she proves she can care for them.

Everyone seems to have an opinion about this bizarre, highly public case -- and momversation recently posted asking moms if we should be judging Nadya Suleman.

All of the women in the conversation were in agreement that it sure is hard not to judge -- 14 babies, what are you thinking, lady?! -- but where and how do we draw the lines around the ethics of multiple births?

Heather Armstrong of Dooce said it was a "dangerous road to go down when you start judging mothers and their families." And Karen Walrond of chookooloonks.com said in the end, the "decision to be a parent is an intensely personal thing."

Of course the debate goes beyond Suleman -- it's about reproductive freedom and thoughts around what it means for other families who choose to pursue IVF.

What do you think? Is there a "right" or a "wrong" when it comes to how many babies a woman should have? Do we have a right to judge Nadya Suleman? Check out the video and let me hear your thoughts.


in the news, twins & multiples

34 Comments

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Momma... Momma2MyMonkeys

I feel sorry for the kids, sorry for her parents... I think that for the rest of her life she should have to pay restitution (not that she ever could with all of these children to pay for) to medicare for the millions it will cost the state, the taxpayers, to just get her babies healthy and home. Even if she honestly thought she would only conceive one or two babies, she was still being selfish! Am I judging her, yes I am, she has put herself out there, asking for all of us to pay for her children. Look at the economy right now... there are so many people out there who have lost their jobs (due to no fault of their own) and now their homes, they all need help! But lets all pay for her, who did this too HERSELF. Poor babies... =( awful situation!!!!!

Amand... Amanda_Jeanne

She just wasn't fully educated or prepared for the craziest outcome, which did happen. It isn't necessarily her fault. Although, call me dumb for thinking this, but if she implanted all of the embryos just because she didn't want them to go to waste and dispose of potential human lives, and "usually" with IVF only one or two embryos actually continue to develop into healthy babies, if that were the case then wouldn't  4 or 5 of the embryos have been wasted, disposed of lives anyway? I don't see the difference, or maybe I'm just missing something.

Momma... Momma2MyMonkeys

Oh and I feel we must remember... SHE did this to HERSELF! This was not immaculate conception... this WAS not a miracle... She choose this path for herself.

lhern... lhernandez7208

NOPE not at all...if you rent going to help her then dont say anything!!!!!

kelfr25 kelfr25

I agree with the poster that said that it is not our place to judge anyone, it's God's. However, we all do it, whether we mean to or not. And I do think it is selfish to bring 8 more babies into the world when you can't pay for the ones you already have. It's not like she was out having sex and oops... got pregnant. She went in, knowing that she couldn't afford it, and had them implanted.

Rebec... Rebecca75

 Everyone Judges everyone. With that said, I feel like her 14 Children are my business, being that I am a CA tax payer and that I am going to be supporting her 14 children. When I can only afford one child myself. What she did (and the doctor too) was irresponsible and selfish. I mean even if she was hoping for a seventh child only, She could not care for the first 6 she had. Have you seen where they lived? She was on Food Stamps, There are so many things wrong with what she did (and the doctor too) I still think she is a liar, and that Dr. Phil has fallen for her lies. Sure the babies will need help. But they need to have someone other then Nadya get the money for the children. I mean they showed a shot of her with her preemies in the NICU and she had her nails done professionally a french manicure, not cheap! So she does not have her priorities straight. That money should have been put towards food or diapers. That is what makes me so upset about this situation, and that she does not realize just how bad this is going to be for those children!!


 


 Rebecca

tayan... tayanddyl

We should not Judge her!  She's human just like we are.  She made a mistake (ok so she made 14 mistakes!) but at least she loves her kids.  She's not out there abusing them!

Freela Freela

My judgement is aimed at the doctor... whatever happened to 'do no harm?'  Luckily these babies survived, but taking the risk of high order multiples is jeapordizing the safety of mother and babies.  Most REs suggest using 2-3 embryos maximum for a woman of her age... regardless of the fact that the mother agreed, using 6 embryos at once was irresponsible of the doctor IMO.

SnoWh... SnoWhite_Images

In the end, what does it matter? What does it matter what we think of her? Or how we feel about what she's done? It's done. She's got 14 kids to deal with. She lives in an alternate reality. We are going to pay the bill no matter what we think. It isn't going to do anyone any good to feed fuel to the fire by giving her attention with all of this crap. What does it matter what we think? If you feed a stray cat it will come back. Keep feeding her. She keeps coming back

Aniyu... Aniyunwiya

(to a previous poster, it has been said that she got it "paid for", by who? I'm looking at the sperm donor personally..)


I don't feel sorry for her, or her parents, they have ENABLED her, these children weren't oops babies or anything, they were intentional and her parents (knowing at least after the 4th or 5th one) had to have known she was doing it.


Not to mention, she could have donated those remaining embryos to someone who couldn't have children if she was truly concerned about them "going to waste". But IMO she wasn't concerned about that.

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