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Secrets They Keep From First-Time Moms

by Cynthia Dermody on February 10, 2009 at 4:05 PM


pregnancy symptoms

Photo by Maggies-a-mommy

From around CafeMom, a list of things your doctor will never tell you about being pregnant. New mamas feel free to add to the list in comments!

-- How disgusting it feels to sit down and have your stomach partially resting on your thigh ... gross!

-- That for the one time in my life that I don't need tampons, I'm going through panty liners like they are going out of style.

-- That, no matter what ANYONE says, labor and delivery is the most painful experience you will ever have. But you won't be able to remember that pain, nor describe it, within hours after giving birth.

-- That I would grow hair on my belly.

-- How many times people ask you if you're having twins.

-- That after hearing "How far along are you?" after 100 times you just want to say "I'm not pregnant."

-- That you get really thirsty during delivery but you cannot drink water, only ice cubes!

-- That once you go into labor, you can't have anything to eat!

-- That you'll fart. NONSTOP. And not ladylike cute farts that can be laughed off with a giggle or a blush.

-- How you can be pissed off at everyone for absolutely no reason at all. And then be so pissed off at everyone that you get so sad and cry for no reason!

-- That 1 month after having my baby, I just wanted to be pregnant again.

-- That it doesn't matter how many showers you take or how many panty liners you use, if you aren't walking around commando to air the area out you'll start to smell. You'll even consider the use of a hair dryer.

-- That I would repeatedly pee myself.

-- That even though you are pregnant, the weight you gain feels like it really has nothing to do with a baby growing inside of you.

-- That sleep would end months BEFORE the baby got here!

-- That 4 weeks between doctors' visits can seem like forever.

-- That you CAN NOT eat everything you want. It leads to heartburn, nausea, and weight gain that is too rapid.

-- That you will most likely poop on the delivery table! (and vomit is a possibility too).

-- How you never had such a hard time shaving your cooter before and now you kinda have to guess at where it's going.

-- That your nipples would soon resemble those that you always gasped and laughed at on the cover of National Geographic when you were younger.

-- How much I was going to miss having my baby in my tummy after he was born!

What do you wish your doctor had told you about your first pregnancy?

Filed Under: pregnancy health, pregnancy symptoms, the pregnant life, trying to conceive

Comments

65
  • mikey...
    --

    mikeyjavimami21

    February 10, 2009 at 4:21 PM

    HAHAHAHAHAHA! I love this! I can't think of anything to add, you said it all!


  • tgiamt
    --

    tgiamt

    February 10, 2009 at 4:25 PM
    How disgusting it is for your boobs to touch your belly. Thats what always bothered me..
  • litst...
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    litstargazer

    February 10, 2009 at 4:28 PM

    Love this one! You have to add:  how much you bleed after birth and that it can last for weeks not days!


  • RanaA...
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    RanaAurora

    February 10, 2009 at 4:47 PM

    -That your belly turns into this disgusting gelatinous blob right after birth.

    -That postpartum bleeding is not "like a heavy period."  It's like Niagra Falls!


  • babyg...
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    babygoose78

    February 10, 2009 at 4:55 PM

    -How relaxing when having contractions is hard, but actually makes it hurt worse.
    -Being induced is not fun. The contractions are hard to handle.(I was induced with both my pregnancies.)


  • Norah...
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    NorahSethsMommy

    February 10, 2009 at 4:57 PM

    That because of your center of gravity being controlled by a swimming, rolling, leaping baby you WILL spill everything you attempt to eat down the front of yourself.


  • Melan...
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    MelaniesMama

    February 10, 2009 at 5:06 PM

    LOL
    I think that about covers it!


  • Alici...
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    Alicia1020

    February 10, 2009 at 5:21 PM

    This one is one that I would add... That when you are in labor and starting to push you really don't care who is in the room looking at your "business" you just want the baby out!


  • ibebr...
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    ibebreezy

    February 10, 2009 at 5:26 PM

    that oh so special feeling you can't describe that comes with being kicked in the crotch from the inside


  • DancingK
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    DancingK

    February 10, 2009 at 5:43 PM

    During labor you say "I WILL NEVER DO THIS AGAIN!!!" but after it's all said and done you miss being pregnant and enjoyed giving birth.


1-10 of 65 comments

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