Secrets They Keep From First-Time Moms


pregnancy symptoms

Photo by Maggies-a-mommy

From around CafeMom, a list of things your doctor will never tell you about being pregnant. New mamas feel free to add to the list in comments!

-- How disgusting it feels to sit down and have your stomach partially resting on your thigh ... gross!

-- That for the one time in my life that I don't need tampons, I'm going through panty liners like they are going out of style.

-- That, no matter what ANYONE says, labor and delivery is the most painful experience you will ever have. But you won't be able to remember that pain, nor describe it, within hours after giving birth.

-- That I would grow hair on my belly.

-- How many times people ask you if you're having twins.

-- That after hearing "How far along are you?" after 100 times you just want to say "I'm not pregnant."

-- That you get really thirsty during delivery but you cannot drink water, only ice cubes!

-- That once you go into labor, you can't have anything to eat!

-- That you'll fart. NONSTOP. And not ladylike cute farts that can be laughed off with a giggle or a blush.

-- How you can be pissed off at everyone for absolutely no reason at all. And then be so pissed off at everyone that you get so sad and cry for no reason!

-- That 1 month after having my baby, I just wanted to be pregnant again.

-- That it doesn't matter how many showers you take or how many panty liners you use, if you aren't walking around commando to air the area out you'll start to smell. You'll even consider the use of a hair dryer.

-- That I would repeatedly pee myself.

-- That even though you are pregnant, the weight you gain feels like it really has nothing to do with a baby growing inside of you.

-- That sleep would end months BEFORE the baby got here!

-- That 4 weeks between doctors' visits can seem like forever.

-- That you CAN NOT eat everything you want. It leads to heartburn, nausea, and weight gain that is too rapid.

-- That you will most likely poop on the delivery table! (and vomit is a possibility too).

-- How you never had such a hard time shaving your cooter before and now you kinda have to guess at where it's going.

-- That your nipples would soon resemble those that you always gasped and laughed at on the cover of National Geographic when you were younger.

-- How much I was going to miss having my baby in my tummy after he was born!

What do you wish your doctor had told you about your first pregnancy?

pregnancy health, pregnancy symptoms, the pregnant life, trying to conceive


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Ladyb... LadybugsMonkeys

That your doctor will pick that weekend to go on a golf trip and you will be stuck with Doogie Howser, MD looking at your cooter. And your praying that he is a real doctor not just a kid in a halloween costume that was walking down the hall looking for his mommy.


My doctor was in town, the doctor that was covering for him was stuck in traffic, and the hospital gave me the choice to either cross my legs and wait or deliver with a med-student with a nurse of 30 years at his side. No way in hell I was going to wait an hour for the doctor so I had to bare all to Doogie, I even asked for his ID to see if he was old enough to be a doctor.

Holly... HollyLucination


Never thought I would say it, but I love this list. I actually wore Depends the last few weeks of pregancy because she'd kick, and whoops, tipsy bladder syndrome! Agh, the horrors.

billy... billyandsamsmom

How 'bout the fact that if you don't wear those little pads in your bra from the get go, you wake up in the morning in a pool of breast milk.

RanaA... RanaAurora

that you should breastfeed as soon as giving birth but cant make milk for over a day... just that clear stuff...

You're making colostrum, which is AMAZING.  It's nicknamed "Liquid Gold" and even if you're not going to breastfeed, you should at LEAST pump colostrum for your baby - it's that awesome of stuff.  And most women have their milk come in 2-4 days after giving birth, but that NEVER means you have to supplement.

Trixi... Trixiebelle2

Having a baby hurts your back entryway, if you catch my drift. I thought my coochie would hurt, but I never thought it  would feel like I just pooped a bowling ball.  The nurses will bully you into a pee and a bowel movement less than an hour after giving birth. Your hair will fall out in chunks after birth.  You bleed for days on end (sometimes weeks) to make up for all that blood you didn't give out for nine months.  You get no sleep before the baby is born and you may not sleep for nine months after.  Before the baby is born, everyone is staring at you. After, they are all looking at the baby/ies (Thank GOD since you will weigh about 40 lbs. more and will have huge bags under your eyes!)

Trixi... Trixiebelle2

Oh, and if you have an interracial marriage, and you have different blood types from your spouse, you may need to take antibiotics.  My husband is Japanese and I am not. One of the twins had DH's blood type and they didn't test for this.  My little girl was sick as heck because of this, and she had to have an antibiotic IV. They could have tested for this! My son has my blood type and he was fine.

my3tu... my3turtles

That being told to breath during labor only make you want to cause them not too.

court... courtlandsb86

I would have to say the greatest thing ever is when you get in the shower as soon as you get home with the new baby and milk starts going everywhere and you are trying to stop it from getting all over the

mommy... mommyramos21

i was never told that in order to get an epidural, you have to try to kiss your toes while dangling off the edge of the table and be COMPLETELY STILL as the doc (which was always a MAN in my case) pokes your back for 20 minutes with a needle longer than your forearm...while having contractions every two minutes or so. seriously, be still while my baby is ripping up everything below my breasts? get lost!

ArmyW... ArmyWifeNewMom

that after you deliver they push on your tummy a million times and it hurts like no other.

that you still have contractions AFTER delivery

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