Secrets They Keep From First-Time Moms


pregnancy symptoms

Photo by Maggies-a-mommy

From around CafeMom, a list of things your doctor will never tell you about being pregnant. New mamas feel free to add to the list in comments!

-- How disgusting it feels to sit down and have your stomach partially resting on your thigh ... gross!

-- That for the one time in my life that I don't need tampons, I'm going through panty liners like they are going out of style.

-- That, no matter what ANYONE says, labor and delivery is the most painful experience you will ever have. But you won't be able to remember that pain, nor describe it, within hours after giving birth.

-- That I would grow hair on my belly.

-- How many times people ask you if you're having twins.

-- That after hearing "How far along are you?" after 100 times you just want to say "I'm not pregnant."

-- That you get really thirsty during delivery but you cannot drink water, only ice cubes!

-- That once you go into labor, you can't have anything to eat!

-- That you'll fart. NONSTOP. And not ladylike cute farts that can be laughed off with a giggle or a blush.

-- How you can be pissed off at everyone for absolutely no reason at all. And then be so pissed off at everyone that you get so sad and cry for no reason!

-- That 1 month after having my baby, I just wanted to be pregnant again.

-- That it doesn't matter how many showers you take or how many panty liners you use, if you aren't walking around commando to air the area out you'll start to smell. You'll even consider the use of a hair dryer.

-- That I would repeatedly pee myself.

-- That even though you are pregnant, the weight you gain feels like it really has nothing to do with a baby growing inside of you.

-- That sleep would end months BEFORE the baby got here!

-- That 4 weeks between doctors' visits can seem like forever.

-- That you CAN NOT eat everything you want. It leads to heartburn, nausea, and weight gain that is too rapid.

-- That you will most likely poop on the delivery table! (and vomit is a possibility too).

-- How you never had such a hard time shaving your cooter before and now you kinda have to guess at where it's going.

-- That your nipples would soon resemble those that you always gasped and laughed at on the cover of National Geographic when you were younger.

-- How much I was going to miss having my baby in my tummy after he was born!

What do you wish your doctor had told you about your first pregnancy?

pregnancy health, pregnancy symptoms, the pregnant life, trying to conceive


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godde... goddessmonica

That you might be lucky enough to go through the "horny phase" but watching you waddle does NOTHING for your husband, so it's all a waste.

AmaliaD AmaliaD

you might be super horny but so disgusted by your shape that you cant enjoy sex.  you might need an emergency c section, your ankles could swell to teh size of a chronically obese woman's ankles.  pregnancy without good treatment could kill you (hellp syndrome, etc....)  that after a c section they will bug you every few hours to see if you have pooped (wtf!) that you should breastfeed as soon as giving birth but cant make milk for over a day... just that clear stuff... that few births go with the "birthing plan."  etc etc... someone should write this book!

simpl... simplyjaneen

That swimming while pregnant feels WEIRD!

zachy... zachysmommy04

If your doctor has to cut you, you will never be horny again. At least for me. And also cutting you makes you want to die for the next three weeks. Worst pain ever. It wasn't the birth that hurt , it was the fact that my cooter and butthole became a really big hole.LOL.

joleen joleen

that breast feeding for the first time is not joyous but fustrating as hell cuz the baby is like what the hell you shoving in my mouth


That I'd look like I was also carrying a baby in each thigh.

hotli... hotlilmama2007

when you're in labor, at some point, every single member of the hospital staff will come in, lift up the sheet, take a peek, then walk out.

Your boobs swell so much during pregnancy, that after you have the baby, whether you breastfeed or not, they will shrink....but the skin will never shrink back...and your nipples might be 2 completely different sizes.

Your underwear will always show because maternity pants always slide down in the back

maternity shirts won't fit no matter how small you are and no matter how large of a shirt you buy.

hotli... hotlilmama2007

oh, and i forgot........after you have the baby, you have to pee to make sure everything still works down there, but when you try, you realize you don't know how to pee anymore

lacey... laceyjanesmommy

and that when you are in labor that taking deep breaths and focusing on a object in the room it really helps! did with me anyways.. and that you will be sore as all hell and wearing panty liners the size of a blanket for weeks after your pregnancy!


but i definitely liked the one about wanting to be preggo right after you have another baby! mine is two now and i cannot wait to have another!

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