Dad Shares How His 'Evil Genius' Cat Got His Wife Pregnant

Pet cat

There are some wild stories on the internet about accidental pregnancies -- and then there's one man whose story clearly takes the cake. According to the dad, it's not a night of too many glasses of rosé that lead him and his wife to Baby Town. Instead, it was the dirty work of their pet cat that has them facing baby number two.

  • After a difficult first pregnancy, the couple hoped to put off having their second kid for a few more years.

    The Original Poster (OP) explained that his wife first tried birth control, "but the pill tends to make her very sick and she wanted to lose weight, so she stopped taking it," he wrote on the Reddit forum r/TIFU.

    "We thought rubbers would be enough, but that's where our cat comes in..." he continued.

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  • In the OP's words, his cat is an "evil genius."

    "I seriously think the greasy orange little s--- is still smarter than our nearly 1 year old," he continued. "No door, drawer, or cabinet can stop him, and if he knows where something he wants is he WILL find it."

    In other words, this little kitty gets into everything. "It's so bad that for weeks after adopting him I thought there was poltergeist in the house because each morning I'd wake up to find every single cabinet door in the kitchen wide open!"

  • Which brings us to his cat getting his wife pregnant.

    The OP admitted that he's probably partly to blame because he put his condoms in the same drawer as his Q-tips --"which he loves to get into and shred apart."

    "He must have seen the box of Q-tips in the drawer when I put my rubbers away, because not even an hour later I stumbled upon a horrific scene of chewed plastic straws, shredded cotton fluff and shiny gold condom wrappers scattered around the gapping drawer that once contained them," he recalled.

  • At the time, he didn't think anything of it. He just cleaned up the mess and went on his way.

    In hindsight, he probably wishes he hadn't shrugged off his cat's mess.

    "We ended up having some sexy time later that night and I vividly remember stumbling into the dark bathroom, opening said drawer, and blindly fumbling around in the box to pull out a condom (as was the routine) thinking nothing of what happened earlier," he wrote.

  • Flash forward to a few weeks later when for some reason his wife felt nauseous and her breasts felt tender.

    The parents knew what this meant.

    "She felt the same way before discovering her first pregnancy," he wrote.

    His wife had a half-opened box of pregnancy tests left in their bathroom "and decided to take one just to be sure. Followed by another one... and another one... all positive."

  • The parents couldn't figure it out. They'd been so careful.

    Until the OP remembered his cat Hulking out on the bathroom drawer.

    "I ran over to bathroom drawer where I kept the condoms, dumped out the box on the counter and started to inspect each miserable little foil square. Sure enough, several had noticeable scratches, teeth marks, and even full blown punctures in them," he wrote.

    "Can't wait to explain to my new son or daughter one day that they owe their existence to the family cat!" he added.

  • The comments section was cracking up over his evil, Q-tip loving, cat.

    "I'll just avoid reading this and assume your cat banged your wife." one person commented.

    "I.....I... kind..of...imagined...something...else. Glad it wasn't what I saw in my head," someone else wrote.

    "So I was sitting here wondering how the h--- the cat inseminated your wife when I read the title," a third person chimed in. "But congrats I guess on the baby."

    Jokes aside, the dad didn't want people to worry about his wife's pregnancy.

    "The timing is certainly off," he explained later in the thread. "But the baby is very much wanted. In an ideal world we would have waited at least another year for number two, but oh well, life happens."