Dad Won't Let Mom Dress First Baby in Hand-Me-Downs She Loves Because They're 'Used'


baby clothes

Any mom will testify in an official court of law that hand-me-downs are a godsend. Not only does it save so much money (those little buggers grow fast), but it also helps having a lot of clothes around as newborns tend to mess themselves -- a LOT. In short: Never snub thy nose at a hand-me-down. 

Unless of course you're this Reddit poster's husband, who inexplicably isn't all about the second-hand clothes for their soon-to-be bundle of joy.

  • Due to distance, the mom explained that her own mother isn't around to help her prep as much as either of them would like. 

    "A friend of hers asked her if I'd like some baby clothes, some slightly worn and some never used before," she wrote. "I said of course! And my mom went through all the clothes and washed it and mailed it to me."

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  • Happy about the epic score, when the box arrived she was really excited to go through all the stuff with her husband.

    As it is their first child, she was pretty pumped to go through the clothes. However it wasn't long before the dad-to-be put a damper on the situation. 

    "I think I showed him maybe two pieces of clothing and I could already tell he was unhappy," she wrote.

    "He said we'd just donate all this stuff to goodwill because he wanted to buy all new clothes for our baby to which I said ofc we will still buy new clothes but it's nice to have a good amount of clothes, especially since they go through clothes like crazy, or so I've heard anyway. He just said no, that his child won't wear hand me downs so I stopped showing him clothes and started packing up the box."

  • Confused, her husband asked her why she was so upset and noted he still wanted to see the stuff. 

    "I didn't see the point anymore as he'd pretty much ruined the moment and gesture for me at that point," the mom honestly wrote. "I know it's not new clothes but my mom was just trying to help and she literally went through the mountain of clothes and washed every single item. The box smelled amazing when I opened it!"

  • At the root of it, the mom was just hurt he was so unappreciative.

    "It hurt my feelings honestly for him to dismiss it like that and just say we'd donate it all without even taking the time to look through it and I guess because this is the first time we look at baby stuff together it hurt even more," she confessed. "He got upset then saying he didn't understand why I was making him 'the bad guy' for saying he wants to buy all new clothes."

    The mom wants to know if she is overreacting. 

  • Not only did people think she wasn't being overreactive but they also thought the dad was being ... foolish. 

    "I've never once heard a rational person say 'thank God I got new clothes for my baby that they outgrew in a month, I'm so glad they weren't used,'" joked one reader. "Baby clothes are pretty pointless new if you can get used! It can be nice to get a couple cute photo outfits, but it's not worth spending $100 on something for a month or two."

  • Others noted that although it seems like a small issue, she needs to be sure she puts her foot down about things like this. 

    "It's your baby too and you have a say in what they wear," another person wrote. "Babies do go through clothes like crazy and there's no reason to get everything new when you have access to hand me downs because so much will have to get thrown out/handed down anyways."

    The person also said, however, that his reaction was a bit manipulative.

    "You weren't upset with him for wanting to buy new clothes you were upset because he completely shut you down and made it seem like your used clothing was not good enough for his baby."

  • A few commenters even suggested that it might be deeper psychologically for him than anyone was giving him credit for. 

    "Has [he] always been against used clothes or second hand items?" wondered one user. "Maybe he thinks that he is a 'bad parent' if he uses those items? Babies grow like weeds, and they are messy. It's not unusual to burn through 3-4 outfits a day. Unless you guys are fortunate enough to have the financial resources where you will never have to worry about budgeting or saving ... he needs to get over this aversion to hand me downs and second hand items.

    "There are *so* many things that you will get for your kiddo that won't be brand new," the person continued. "My guess is that your husband has a particular issue that he simply hasn't articulated, which isn't helpful. He needs to tell you what the problem is so you can figure out a solution."