FIL Insists Son Be in the Delivery Room To 'Protect His Rights' Even Though Wife Prefers Her Mom


newdad holding baby

There is one rule every pregnant woman must follow when it comes to the delivery of her baby: Your body, your rules. That means you get ultimate say on what makes you comfortable.

Still, one FIL was surprised to hear that his daughter-in-law made the decision to allow her mother in the room over her husband (his son) and is absolutely livid

  • The FIL explained on Reddit that his son and DIL were expecting their first child, and he and his wife are beyond excited. 

    But things turned sour for the grandpa-to-be when he learned something about their birth plan. 

    "This weekend my son was helping me with some yard work (6 ft apart) and we started talking about the delivery," he wrote. "I asked if he was nervous, and he said 'I am nervous for her, but kind of relieved I'll be in the waiting room.' I was dumbfounded and he said that when he and his wife discussed it, she expressed that she would 'highly prefer' having just her mother in the room, but that she 'of course' wouldn't stop him if he felt strongly about being there instead, since due to the virus she can only have one person in the room with her. He insisted he was 'indifferent' about witnessing the birth and wanted to respect his wife's preference."

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  • This, of course, incensed the FIL, and inspired him to proceed to explain why his son must be there. 

    "He got frustrated with me and said that his wife is a 'private person,' that she's very close to her mother, and that she says she'll be 'best comforted by someone who's already done it three times and will know how things should go,'" he wrote. "I'll admit I rolled my eyes at that. I tried to tell him that the days he and his sister were born were the best days of my life, and the memory would be nothing if I'd just walked into the room post-birth and got handed a fresh clean baby. Helping my wife through the births cemented our partnership, as a couple and as parents. Being the one to cut the cords, being an equal part of the birthing process…it's so important as a dad. It's a huge part of your bond with the baby."

  • The FIL then started vocalizing his worries about her being "doped up" with an epidural or "tough medical" decisions and his son not being there.  

    "I tried to explain that not only will it be VERY hard for him to bond with the baby if he doesn't witness the birth, he needs to be there to ensure that his rights are protected. Apparently they've already been arguing about her wanting to be doped up for the birth because she can't handle pain, and if it's just her mom in the room, he won't be able to ensure she doesn't overrule him with the epidural. And although it's tough to think about the worst case scenario, he needs to be the one in the room if things go wrong. If huge medical decisions need to be made, and someone needs to choose if the doctors will save his wife or his baby, of course his mother in law will insist on saving her baby instead of his. He needs to be able to be there."

  • We need to pause for a second. 

    Pshew. That was something to read. 

  • Sadly, it doesn't end there: The FIL offered to talk to his son's wife as a father who has been through it twice -- but things got heated. 

    "I've called a few times but he won't answer," he wrote. "My wife says she doesn't want to get involved, but that he told her he doesn't want to talk to me until I apologize. I still don't know for what!!! I called his wife to try to get a straight story from her about the extent to which she'd pressured him to cave and agree to wait outside, and she just swore at me and said 'meddlesome s--t like this' is what keeps us from being close. I'm honestly dumbfounded."

    Is he so wrong for wanting his son to witness the birth of his child?

  • People were also dumbfounded ... at the FIL. 

    "First of all, you aren't your son," one user went in. "If HE is ok with not being in the room, that's HIS choice. Secondly, it's HER body. If she chooses to be 'doped up' for labor, no one gets to say otherwise, including her husband. And finally, you are a super [expletive] for inserting yourself to the point of CALLING your daughter-in-law. Mind your business before you get cut off from having a relationship with your unborn grandchild."

  • Others thought his rant was indicative of a deeper dislike of his DIL. 

    "You can tell that OP really just hates his daughter-in-law when his main objection is 'If I don't get my way and an emergency happens, there's a chance that my daughter-in-law won't die,'" commented another. 

    Whatever the case, the verdict was unanimous: FIL needs to mind his own business or suffer the consequences.