Parenting

MIL Makes Fun of New Mom Who Had a C-Section for Taking 'the Easy Way Out' & It Gets Ugly

ParentingPublished May 29, 2020
By Maressa Brown
c-sectionSDI Productions/iStock.com

Everyone's birth story is uniquely their own. And whether you had a vaginal birth or cesarean section, your labor and delivery challenges are valid. That doesn't mean you won't hear nails-on-a-chalkboard aggravating remarks from people who have no business judging your experience. That's exactly what a woman on the JUSTNOMIL subreddit is contending with. Her MIL described her C-section as "the easy way out."

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The new mom shared on Reddit that her MIL made fun of her to her brother-in-law for having a C-section with her last baby.

The furious new mom explained that the incident caused her to fire her as the family's live-in nanny last week.

"She has one month to get her s--t together, and then, she's out of my life," the frustrated mom explained.

The OP explained that in her MIL's "typical narcissistic, victim-playing ways, she tried to carpet sweep" the OP's husband.

"She had the complete balls to ask him, 'Why are you two so mad at me?'" the OP wrote. "She legitimately tried to act like she had no clue why we are kicking her out. Like she has no memory of the last 2 years of her own bulls--t."

That's when the OP's husband pointed out that his wife's C-section was a serious operation.

He noted, "that women and babies can die during and after the surgery. And she sat there and went back and forth with DH like a C-section is like a minor elective surgery. Like getting a wart removed. She thinks the colonoscopies she gets for her ulcerative colitis are worse. That I just need to get over it. She even rolled her eyes."

Adding insult to injury, the OP said she's come to learn that her MIL has been telling her BIL to "pray" for her.

She's blaming the OP's behavior on postpartum depression. (It's unclear if that's something the new mom has actually been diagnosed with.) 

After the OP's husband told his mom to mind her own business, she threatened the OP and her husband by saying she won't pray for them anymore. 

OP's response: "Right. Because the thought of not having her bulls--t 'prayers' for me was going to make change my mind about all of the awful things she has done. GTFO."

Redditors weighed in to reassure the OP that a C-section is, in fact, quite a big deal.

"I had an emergency C-section with my second," one commenter noted. "My placenta had separated from the wall of my uterus, and it literally saved mine and my daughters life. My OB said my uterus was full of blood, and I know I was soaked with blood to my feet. All in all, I lost a quart and a half before the surgery was done. You MIL can go kick rocks."

Another shared: "I can't stand that argument! I was in labor for 36 hours and spiked a fever so had to have an emergency C-section. During which my epidural wore off and I felt them stitch me back together while puking through it. My son ended up have an infection and stayed in the hospital for a week after birth for antibiotics. There is NOTHING easy about a C-section. Screw her for saying and believing so."

One admitted that she previously thought C-sections were the easy way out, but then she had one herself. "I realized the full gravity of recovering from major abdominal surgery," the Redditor wrote.

According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, there are absolutely potential complications of a C-section.

Some complications occur in a small number of women and usually are easily treated:

  • Infection
  • Blood loss
  • Blood clots in the legs, pelvic organs, or lungs
  • Injury to the bowel or bladder
  • Reaction to medications or to the anesthesia that is used

 Recovery is no picnic, either. As ACOG points out, you might experience:

  • Mild cramping, especially if you are breastfeeding
  • Bleeding or discharge for about 4-6 weeks
  • Bleeding with clots and cramps
  • Pain in the incision

The bottom line: Not only are C-section moms giving birth, but they're undergoing major abdominal surgery. The sooner Boomers and other critics get on board with these facts, the better.

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