'Superstitious' MIL Tries To Get Mom's C-Section Date Changed Behind Her Back

Twenty20

Pregnant woman at a doctor's appointment
Twenty20

I'll admit it, I'm superstitious. Especially if there's even an iota of a chance that it could interfere with getting something I really want. But even at my worst, I wouldn't be like one grandmother who was so nervous about her grandchild being born on the 13th day of the month that she tried to convince her son to switch her daughter-in-law's C-section date behind her back. 

  • At one point in their relationship, mother and daughter-in-law were on good terms.

    But as we all know, grandchildren can complicate things. In a post written on r/JUSTNOMIL, the daughter-in-law explained that a case of gestational diabetes forced her to change plans and a C-section was scheduled for the 13th of that month. 

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  • Sometimes it's mom who gets rattled by a change in the birth plan, but this time grandma was the one with an issue.

    Mom can confidently say that in hindsight the decision to invite her mother-in-law to her doctor's appointment was a huge lapse of judgement because, unfortunately, her MIL was there when she was told the news.

    Her mother-in-law was horrified -- not about the surgery itself, but because of the date. She "said that 13 is a terribly unlucky number for her family and stated that my partner will not be pleased with the news."

    But that really didn't seem likely because he never mentioned anything about the number 13 being unlucky before -- ever.

  • When the two got home, her MIL told her son that she was concerned about the C-section.

    Her MIL didn't come right out and say that she was upset about the date. Instead, she told her son that she believed that "it is best that babies are delivered full term and to keep the baby in me for as long as possible."

  • The OP's c-section date was actually only four days ahead of her original due date.

    Her logic didn't really check out -- but her partner didn't seem to notice.

    "My partner and I were first time parents then and my partner trusted his mother," she continued. And of course he believed that his mom was giving them the right advice "out of the goodness of her black heart."

    "I was in shock because that is the first time she has pulled a stunt like that," the OP added.

  • So the two of them started pressuring the OP to change her C-section date to "a date of their liking."

    The OP had to explain to both of them that C-sections of "complicated pregnancies" like hers were only scheduled on Mondays at the hospital, but to no avail. Both her MIL and her partner insisted that she change the date.

  • The Original Poster (OP) and her husband got into a fight about the whole thing later after his mother left their house.

    He was still stuck on the advice his mother gave them, but the OP knew that her MIL was pulling a fast one.

    "My water broke a few days before the 13th and I ended up having baby even earlier," the mom wrote later in the thread. So we guess there was never any reason to worry, but the whole thing left a bad taste in the OP's mouth.

    "She continued to cause issues for us after the birth of our first. Things have changed now because I am onto her lies and manipulations but it took me a while to get to this comfortable point," she wrote.

    "Meanwhile, the poor innocent creature that is MIL lives a lonely life because she does not feel welcome in our home. What a surprise..."

  • People in the comments couldn't believe her MIL's sneaky behavior.


    "It's more likely that she latched onto this number as a means to control," one commenter speculated. "The implications are not pretty, but that's how some people feel better about themselves."

    "She really tried to act like FOUR days before your due date was a big deal? Yeesh," a second commenter agreed. "Plus, the reason they do C-sections BEFORE your due date is because a vaginal labor could be dangerous in one way or another, so they don’t want you to go into labor and have the baby in a hazardous way."

    "Oh good grief. Never mind that two weeks prior and after the due date is considered full term," a third commenter pointed out. 

  • Things didn't get better after the birth of her baby.

    As she explained later in the thread, OP's husband felt a deep obligation to let his mom be part of the pregnancy because "MIL was never allowed to be a grandmother to her other grandchildren."

    Possibly with good reason. Her behavior caused a huge rift between the OP and her partner. 

    "She took the opportunity and basically treated me like a surrogate," she explained. "And almost broke my relationship." 

    "She never helped or did any grandmother stuff with the kids, only gave unsolicited advice," she continued.

    Happily, her partner eventually did see the light "and now puts me and the kids above her."

c-sections