Woman Discovers MIL Secretly Tried To Block Her From Getting an Epidural & Her Husband Knew

iStock

pregnant woman hospital
iStock

Choosing whether to get an epidural is a highly personal decision -- one that's between a mother, her doctor, and ... well, honestly, no one else. So you can imagine the shock (and fury) of one mom-to-be when she discovered her mother-in-law was trying to block her from getting one, by going through her husbandUm, what?! The furious mama recently shared her story on Reddit, where other commenters agreed that this MIL was way out of line.

  • The mom-to-be found out about her MIL's plot while she was cleaning out her husband's email inbox on his cellphone.

    What she found was infuriating. Her MIL had apparently texted her husband to say that she "strongly believed" he shouldn't let his wife get an epidural.

    And the cherry on top: "As a mother she is supposed to be able to take the pain," the MIL added.

    The poster's MIL then blamed her older son's behavioral issues on the epidural she received during her first delivery, and warned the husband of the "long term mental effects those drugs have."

    "You do not want Dear Son Two behaving that way," the MIL continued. "Please please be a man and do not allow her to get one.”

    Wow.

  • Advertisement
  • No surprise -- the poster was ticked. Like REALLY ticked.

    "My body, my rules!!" she wrote. "Our Dear Son One is hyper, healthy, and not beaten and regimented. He’s a little wild, and stubborn; won’t hug or interact with people he doesn’t know well and independent. He’s also 2 years old!!!"

    But here's the kicker -- her MIL had epidurals with all five of her kids. So we're guessing her anti-epidural beliefs came later?

    "Her daughters and other DIL had epidurals; why the [expletive] am I supposed to 'take the pain?'" the poster wondered aloud. 

    But now, she's not sure what to do or say, and is wondering whether she should confront her or wait to see what her husband says.

  • Some people agreed that her MIL was way out of line about something that wasn't her business.


    "Since she is requesting [expletive], your turn comes in the form of HER not seeing your baby," one commenter advised. "She withholds meds, you withhold squish."

    "No, you don't confront her because you don't owe her any explanation of your medical decisions," another person agreed. "You do confront your husband, and you make it clear he needs to tell her that your medical decisions are none of her d--n business and that she needs to keep her trap shut unless her advice is solicited."

    Another person had this to say: 

    "Please tell me she loses access to your children. Since she doesn’t approve of how you have chosen to bring them into the world and, shockingly, thinks she gets to voice an opinion on your medical procedure, she doesn’t deserve a relationship with you or them. Does she think your DH has the right to withhold medical intervention? I mean, unless he is your OB ... "

  • Some people, however, thought it was the husband who was to blame.


    "DH can also stay home with DS One after dropping you off at the hospital," one commenter wrote. "His presence is completely optional in this medical procedure. Why is he discussing your birth plan with her like she's a team player in this? Next time she complains about her aches and pains, remind her 'as a mother she is supposed to be able to take the pain.'"

    "So why is your husband having a conversation with his mother about your medical procedures?" another person wondered. "Why does she feel safe bringing that up to him? The phone call is coming from inside the house."

    And this person was seriously lit up:

    "What the actual [expletive]?!! What was your husbands response to this conversation last Friday? This should be met with a very stern 'our son is perfect and we are great parents that do not require your input ever unless specifically asked for. My wife is amazing and I fully 100 percent support her decision to be as off her face as she wants during labour. END OF CONVERSATION! Do not overstep your boundaries again.”
    In an update to her original post, the mom shared a (somewhat) happy update: Her husband was completely on her side, and the two of them have decided to cut off contact with his mother.

    "I plan to go no contact with MIL until the birth and possibly my whole maternity leave, and we were supposed to go Christmas party with DHs family this year," the poster explained. "But DH does not want to, so we are going to tag along with my parents to Texas to visit my family."
    Honestly, that may be the best plan of action until her MIL can keep her opinions to herself.

birth stories