Husband Devastated After His Wife Decided at the Last Minute That He Couldn't Be in the Delivery Room

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Dad and newborn
USGirl/iStock.com

You only get one chance to see your baby being born. and it's a special moment that most parents share together -- and will never forget. But one new dad still feels robbed of this priceless experience and can't help but resent his wife for it, even months later. The husband was nixed from the delivery room at the last second after his wife decided she didn't want him to "see her like that." Months later, he's still feeling so hurt that he doesn't even want to have a date night with her, but he has yet to tell her that she devastated him. 

  • The dad explained that right before the birth of his daughter, his wife banished him from the delivery room.

    Three months ago, the dad-to-be was eagerly awaiting the birth of his daughter. But as he explained on Reddit, things didn't go according to plan. "I was always looking forward to witness her birth," he wrote. "My wife and I agreed that it would be an exclusive moment between us. We talked about it for months."

    But then she had a change of heart. "Just before she was about to deliver, she told me that she didn't want me there," he wrote. Despite his disappointment, she insisted that she didn't want him to see her "like that." 

    "I told her it'd be alright, she asked the nurse to kick me out," he wrote. "She wanted her mother there." Devastated, the dad ended up missing out on the "most important event in my life," and felt like there was nothing he could do. "I just cried and sucked it up," he continued.

    Now, his wife wants to go out and take a break from parenting, but he is seriously not in the mood. Despite months having passed, he's still hurt and doesn't know if he should tell her why he's not interested in "date night" anytime soon. 

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  • Some people thought this dad was out of line for "seeking revenge" on his wife for expressing how she felt in the moment. 


    "Birth is a crazy time," one person wrote in the comments. "Like you're pushing a human out of your funny bits. It’s also a medical procedure. A painful, often gross and embarrassing one. And on top of that you have all these hormones. Your wife may have changed her decision right there and then. It’s ok for you to feel hurt and disappointed but that’s what you need to talk to her about not wanting to punish her for not letting you be there at a very very difficult time."

    And someone else thought that this couple really needed to have a heart-to-heart. "I understand you were upset. I totally get that you would want to be at the birth of your child. You’re not the (expletive) for feeling upset. You are however the (expletive) for not communicating your feelings -- it’s been 3 months! Why haven’t you spoken to your wife about this? Why are you letting it fester?" the person asked.

    "Giving birth is incredibly traumatic, painful, personal, and emotional," someone else wrote. "It’s her body, and ultimately her decision who gets to see it/be part of it. Obviously you’re entitled to feel hurt that you were excluded, but now you’re taking your feelings out on her without an explanation. That’s pretty childish."

  • But other people thought his wife had broken her promise and this dad deserved more.


    One person commented that they could empathize with where the dad was coming from. "Especially because this is something you guys talked about, and it's clearly very important to you."

    "Tell her how you feel about it," another person advised. "She is allowed to not let you see her vagina despite you being married."

    "You need to tell her that this decision has damaged your relationship," someone else wrote. "It sounds like she already has an inkling and is hoping date nights will fix it. They won't. Therapy might."

    In the end, the dad wrote that he didn't want to argue about whether he should have been allowed in the delivery room. "She didn't want me to watch and I didn't. End of the story. The post is about me telling her the reason for not going on the date," he explained. 

    But for the time being,if all his wife wants to get out of the house, he'll recommend that she go out with her friends instead. "I'll watch the baby and ask her to go out with her friends for a break," he wrote.

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