Mom Pregnant With 4 Healthy Babies Considers Aborting 2 Based on Gender

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Pregnant mom sonogram
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When you're trying to get pregnant, the idea of twins can cause even the heartiest of moms to panic. But for one mom-to-be, her fears quickly quadrupled when her doctor informed her that she was pregnant with not just one baby but with a healthy group of quads. Scared out of her mind, the mom is freaked out over both giving birth to four babies at once AND having to pay for them. So now, the mom-to-be is wondering if she'd be wrong for wanting to selectively abort one set of twins based on gender and keep the other.

  • The mom-to-be explained that after years of struggling to conceive, she was ecstatic to finally learn that she was pregnant.

    After failing to get pregnant and then going through "a couple rounds of IVF," the mom shared in a post on Reddit that she and her husband had finally gotten some good news. "We are super happy, like over the moon ecstatic. We couldn't wait for the 12-week mark to tell people, and started working on a nursery right away," she wrote. "However, we go to our scan and find out we are having FOUR babies. Four. That's insane."

    Four babies would be a lot for any mom to handle, and this poster said that she's actually a scared about the toll the babies could take -- physically and financially. "At the time, my husband and I are just in shock, but happy we have healthy babies," she wrote. "Now, I'm a small woman, 5'0 and very petite. At my next scan, it was suggested I consider aborting two of the pregnancies for the sake of my body, and to be honest, I was quietly considering bringing this idea up to my husband anyway because of the money involved with raising four children."

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  • Now, the mom is debating whether she should not only abort two of her babies, but if it's wrong to do it based on gender.

    Reddit thread

    The parents don't relish their decision, but the mom wrote that if she had to abort two of her children, they would most likely would factor their decision into it. "From our latest scan, we know we have identical twin girls and two fraternal boys in there," she wrote. "If we go through with the selective abortion, which we most likely will, I brought up that I would like to keep the two girls as they are identical twins and also, to be honest, I've always wanted girls."

    But not everyone was on board with the mom's plan. She wrote that the stuff really hit the fan when she told her mother and sister, and "they kicked off, calling us selfish, entitled, saying we are searching for designer babies, etc."

    "The way I see it is that we have to make a choice which babies go if we do this, and it breaks our hearts that we are in this position but we need to do what we can for the sake of our children," she wrote.

    Is she wrong for having a preference? 

  • Although the decision is difficult, people online seemed to agree that she and her husband needed to keep their choice to themselves.

    "Can I give you a bit of advice?" one person wrote. "Tell your parents and sister and whomever else you confided in that the doctor is now thinking that two of the embryos are no longer growing as they should so you and your husband are leaving it in the hands of fate. After every scan let them know that two have stopped growing. Because I guarantee you -- one day someone is going to tell your little girls that you killed their brothers. Don't take that risk."

    "A big piece of advice, don’t bring this up to anyone," another person agreed. "This is so so so personal."

    Someone else also thought this is best left between the mom-to-be and her husband. "You’re making the best choice for you and your husband, and it’s a really difficult choice," the person wrote. "You have to choose two babies and there’s not really a good way to do it. It’s really unfair of your family to call you selfish for what I’m sure is a very, very difficult decision."

  • And most people agreed that this situation was tough -- no matter how things turn out -- so there's no "right" answer. 

    "If there is a medical reason as to why choosing to abort the fraternal boys over the identical girls is ideal," one person wrote. "I would definitely lead with that instead, as hopefully extended family and friends would be more understanding in that case."

    And someone wondered if she could do one and one. "This is just my opinion that you should abort 1 boy and 1 girl so there can be a father-son bond and mama-daughter bond," the person wrote. 

    Someone else thought that the mom should make her choice based on her health and not anything else. "Choose what is safest for you, and if it happens to be one girl and one boy or two boys, do it. Don’t put yourself in danger over baby gender preference."

abortion twins & multiples