'Insensitive' Husband Gifts Mom a Baby Hamster After She Miscarried

Vichai Phububphapan/iStock.com

Hamster
Vichai Phububphapan/iStock.com

There is no right way to comfort someone who's just had a miscarriage. A loss like that can be heartbreaking to both parents but can be especially hard for a mom, who had to feel both the growth of her child and its loss in her body. But if we know anything for sure, it's how you probably shouldn't try to make a woman feel better in this situation. Unfortunately, one husband had to learn this the hard way after he came up with the idea to give his wife a pet hamster after her loss -- and let's just say it didn't go well.

  • The confused husband explained that even though he and his wife are young and healthy, they've been having a hard time carrying a baby to term.

    The anonymous man explained on Reddit that it's only been two months since his wife's most recent miscarriage and as much as it's broken both of their hearts, it's really done some damage to her. "Our second miscarriage was in the second trimester and was very difficult as we both started to feel like 'mommy and daddy.'  We were 'competing' over which gender it would be," he wrote.

    Tragically, after finding out that they were having a girl, they lost baby Charlotte. "She's been despondent these past few months," he wrote. "I haven't been exactly ecstatic either but she won't even eat some days."

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  • Hoping to cheer up his wife, this husband came up with what he thought was a thoughtful gift.

    The husband shared that he thought getting his wife a pet was just what she needed to feel better and heal after her loss. "Wife doesn't like cats and dogs aren't allowed where we live but she had a hamster growing up," he wrote. "I bought a baby hamster with a big glass case and put a teeny tiny pink bow on her. I gave her to my wife with a card that said, 'Would you be my new mommy?'"

    Instead of being thrilled, his wife reacted "terribly" and called him an "insensitive asshole." "I'm just trying to help and the way she reacted put me on the defense so we got into an argument and aren't on speaking terms," he wrote. "I keep the hamster with me on the coffee table as I sleep on the living room couch. I've seen her play with it but she wont talk to me."

    Which has left this man completely confused. "Am I the asshole for giving my wife a baby hamster after she miscarried?" he asked.

  • Some people tried to comfort him and told the man that he's not an asshole -- just incredibly stupid.


  • Instead, people think he should be labelling himself as "the moron."

  • And almost everyone agreed: That card was dumb and crossed the line.


  • Some tried to see his side with the hamster but putting parenting into it with the card was a major fail.

  • And not everyone was willing to let the husband off the hook for being less-than-smart.


    Some people thought he was acting like a jerk.

  • One person wrote that the man needs to consider his actions more carefully.

  • Another husband who has been through his share of miscarriages told the man that he needs to talk out his ideas before he executes them.

    If he had run the idea by at least one other married friend, that friend probably would have told him that this wasn't a good plan. In the end, the husband needs to apologize ASAP and just give his wife the time and space she please. And please, no more pets for now.

conception