Bluetooth Pregnancy Test Makes Finding Out If You're Pregnant More Complicated Than Ever

pregnancy test appAre you wondering if you might be pregnant? Well, good news -- there's an app for that! Apparently just grabbing a home pregnancy test and waiting two minutes for a positive sign is so 2015, because now you can spend more to buy a test that can sync with your smartphone.



So, let's review:

Old way: Buy test, pee on test, read results.

New way: Buy test, download app, pee on test, sync pee stick to app, enter in personal information about your reproductive plans, wait three minutes while watching puppy videos embedded on the app, get results.

Personally, I'm old-school in this area. When it comes to finding out if I'm pregnant, all I want is an answer that is quick and accurate. But maybe some people like having extra steps in the process, so here is a handy list of other ways you can make finding out if you are pregnant more complicated:

  1. Take the test blindfolded! How good is your aim? How messy will your floor end up? Only one way to find out!
  2. Read the test instructions in French, but only if you don't speak French.
  3. Take the test and then let your 2-year-old interpret the results for you.
  4. Buy a bulk pack of tests from Costco and have your partner hide them around the house. You can test as soon as you find one.
  5. Make a pregnancy playlist. Pee in rhythm to the beat and get a jump start on the Kegels by holding it during the instrumental sections.

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  6. Take the test and post a heavily filtered picture of the testing stick on Instagram. Wait for your followers to tell you if you are pregnant or not.
  7. After testing, wipe off the test and place it on your head. You must walk to your kitchen and back without it falling off before you can read the results. Good posture is important. If it falls off your head, start over.
  8. Take the test and then wrap the entire stick in duct tape and mail it to your mother. Find out results as soon as she is able to pry the tape off. She'll love being a part of the process.

So go and drink a big glass of water -- you too can find out if you are pregnant in mere hours or days if you follow these handy pregnancy testing tips!


Photo illustration by Anne Meadows; images via saknakorn/Shutterstock (hands), Chorniy10/Shutterstock (uterus illustration)

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