15 Baby Names the Urban Dictionary Might Make You Rethink

aidenWhen it comes to choosing a baby name, there are so many things to consider: What sort of nickname will your child inevitably have (and will it make him cry on the playground)? What will his initials spell out (are you dooming him to a life of being F.A.T. or S.A.D.)? Will people consistently mispronounce your moniker of choice? And now there's yet another concern to add to the list: What's the definition of your baby's name on Urban Dictionary?  

Indeed, many perfectly innocent-sounding names have been all but destroyed by the website's usually crude, sometimes perplexing, and often grammatically incorrect meanings. Of course, if you have your heart set on a certain name, there's no need to cross it off the list -- most people aren't familiar with these definitions, so it's probably not a huge deal. Still, we thought you should know about some of the most undesirable names on the site, just in case.

 

Image via Etsy

  • "Kristin"

    1

    Image via Pottery Barn Kids

    Not sure what a "Yukmouth" is, but sounds like something really, really bad:

    A redneck two faced backstabbing lying untrusting Yukmouth who are usually found wherever the dope sack is. It is rare to see a kristin off her back. has no money no job no house is manipulative and a thief if encountered lock up your valuables and probably your husband don't let her stay for breakfast because it f****** breath will kill you snaggletooth hoe will drag reducing your dick looks like she needs a sandwich. Naps and some d*ck.

  • "Aiden"

    2

    Image via Etsy

    Sounds like Aiden could use a little backbone:
    Someone who has been absolutely whipped by a chick half his height and will do anything for her, even if it lowers his way of living.
     
    Such an Aiden
  • "Hudson"

    3

    Image via Etsy

    To think such a lovely actress would be known for this!
    Woman who has repeatedly or solely dated d**che bag men. First used on the 01/06/10 broadcast of the Lex and Terry Morning Radio Show. Named for the actress Kate Hudson who has previously dated a long string of d**che bags.
  • "Annie"

    4

    Image via Etsy

    Guess "spunky redheaded orphan" isn't the first thing everybody thinks of when they hear this name:
    Post-tipsy and semi-drunk.
     
    Why so Annie, Annie?
  • "Hailey"

    5

    Image via Etsy

    This one is almost okay, except ... not quite:
    A cool girl who is kind of smart. She loves Joshy and expensive cars. She wants to go to Switzerland and loves sex. She loves runs, and is a dinosaur.
     
    She is such a Hailey.
  • "Ethan"

    6

    Image via Etsy

    Maybe he just really loves nature?
    A person who has A.D.D. and a very good vocabulary. They can hold conversations with a tree stump for several hours. Can also be stupid and idiotic. Is unaware of his or her surroundings.
     
    You just pulled an Ethan!
  • "Jackson"

    7

    Image via Etsy

    Say a prayer you never run into the guy who inspired this definition:
    A knife loving freak, possibly a terrorist that kills animals in the backyard or anywhere he can find one. will most likely snap one day and kill everyone.
     
    Jackson please don't kill me.
  • "Riley"

    8

    Image via Pottery Barn Kids

    To be fair, not an entirely negative meaning, but still not one you want associated with your kid:
    Verb/noun; to riley someone is to give them the best lay of their life. to "get a riley" is to be on the receiving end of such a phenomenal sexual act.
     
    Man, last saturday that girl totally gave me a riley!

    Just you wait until we get home and I give you a riley.
  • "Henry"

    9

    Image via Etsy

    Drug lingo is getting more and more obsure:
    An 8th of marijuana.
     
    Do you know where I can find Henry?
  • "Liam"

    10

    Image via Etsy

    Maybe some Liams out there would find this one complimentary -- but not your son (you hope!):
    Liam aka P.I.M.P, Often found with b*tches and a pimping stick with a gold handle.
     
    I once saw this guy dressed in a cape with a golden cane. He was like a f***ing shepherd, with hundreds of b*tches swinging of his c*ck. They were all screaming somthing that sounded like liam! But it could have been heaven? The b*tches were touching his cape and getting backhands left right and center. Now thats a PIMP if I ever saw one.
  • "Drew"

    11

    Image via Etsy

    Sure, you want your kid to be an overachiever, but not in this realm:
    A person who masturbates excessively.
     
    Person 1: Don't be a Drew! 
    Person 2("drew"): I can't help myself sometimes, especially while looking at a mirror.
  • "Noah"

    12

    Image via Etsy

    Why set your child up for a life of negativity?
    Whenever someone enunciates the word no in attempt to stress a point?
     
    Wanna come over for some sex and pizza?
    noah!!!
  • "Oliver"

    13

    Image via Etsy

    Who'd wanna hang out with a guy like this??
    An extremely judgmental boy who is two-headed and bitches about everyone. He is the type of boy who will slag everyone off if they eat meat as he is as vegetarian, but secretly eats KFC every night, his mom caught him haha.
     
    You heard of Oliver? YEAH! HE'S A RIGHT D*CK HEAD!
  • "Jack"

    14

    Image via Etsy

    Well, this is just horrifying:

    To pull a Jack is to sh*t on the top of a car then sit in it. Then hold your legs straight up as high up as they can go. Then to grab your toes. Then slide down the windshield screaming "AARRMAAGGEEDDOONN!!!!"

    My mom was so pissed when I pulled a Jack on her new car ...

  • "Evan"

    15

    Image via Etsy

    Sounds like somebody chose the wrong Evan to hook up with:
    A f***ing d**che bag; can also be considered a man wh*re.
     
    He's such an evan 
    Why? 
    He broke up with a girl then went out with another one a day later.
    Sh*t. 
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