You May Never Want to 'Nest' While You're Pregnant & That's Okay

The American Pregnancy Association says that nesting is the overwhelming desire to get your home ready for your new baby. During the last few weeks of pregnancy you may want to clean all the closets or paint the baby's nursery or scour Pinterest for adorable DIY crib mobiles you can create while waiting for your baby to finally be born. But what if you never feel this urge?


I didn't with my second baby, and despite the fact that I didn't clean like crazy or beautifully art-direct his nursery or even buy a car seat until the last minute, he totally survived those first few months with no late-term pregnancy nesting instinct by me. I just wish someone had told me I could make someone do my nesting for me.

Some women are just too exhausted or overwhelmed to ever feel like nesting, which is why they should feel free to make someone do the nesting for them -- whether that be a friend, their partner, or one of the grandparents-to-be. There's no shame in never feeling up to organizing closets or going shopping for adorable fitted crib sheets. But I remember feeling guilty as hell that I never felt this desire with my second kid. I did with my first, and I expected that the urge would come with my second, that I'd be swooning over the Pottery Barn Kids catalogue or debating paint chips with my partner. All I had the urge to do was take naps and eat ice cream and watch Lifetime movies over and over again. There's no concrete scientific explanation about why you may never feel like nesting. Despite what the pregnancy books (and Pinterest!) expect you to believe, not every mom feels the nesting urge. That's why I think that moms need a nesting "get-out-of-jail-free" card, and if they just never feel up to nesting, someone else will make sure that baby has a bassinet or a crib to sleep in and some diapers and other essentials. That way if you never feel like nesting, you can make someone else do it for you.

 More from The Stir: 18 ways to Survive the Crazy Nesting Phase

I eventually bought my baby a beautiful nursery set and created an adorable room for him; it just didn't happen until after he was born. I wish I would have known how normal it was to never get the nesting urge, and that way I could have felt a lot less guilt and enjoyed my ice cream naps in peace. 


Image via © Hill Street Studios/Blend Images/Corbis

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