Thinking of a Baby Name Is So Hard Some Parents Will Pay $30K to Have Someone Else Do It for Them

baby namesHaving trouble thinking of a unique baby name? Never fear! For a mere $31,000, parents in need of a baby name can use a company in Switzerland that will spend "100 hours" coming up with a list of 15 to 20 couture monikers for your bundle of joy. And you thought you could just flip through a baby book? Puh-leeze!

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Why so expensive? Well, for one thing, the company (called Erfolgswelle) has quite a few people on payroll: Lists of potential names are created by a team of 14 naming experts, 12 translators, and four historians (not to mention two trademark attorneys, just in case any of those names could potentially conflict with existing brands). 

For another, we're talking about a child's identity, here! Isn't knowing that no other baby on the planet will answer to a call quite the same as your precious snowflake's worth at least 30 grand??

Um, no. Of course it's not. Unless you have so much money you're literally sitting on piles of it and you need to get rid of some to make room for furniture. And even in that case, I think you should just donate the money to charity, but whatever. Hey, could this be the secret celeb parents with uniquely named children have been hiding for years?? Is that where Chief Keef came up with Sno FilmOn Dot Com for his newborn son?? (Oh wait, no -- he named him after the website for his record label.) 

More from The Stir: 26 Creative Baby Names That Didn't Exist Until Millennial Moms Came Along

Anyway. Look, as a mother of three, I know how hard it is to come up with a unique baby name -- and even when you think you pulled it off, along come 1,000 other kids born that year with the exact name. (Zeitgeist much?) There were literally five girls named Sophia in my daughter's preschool class (not her name, but also not a super common name prior to that, I don't think). Still, I doubt any of those girls is going to be hampered in life by the fact that there are a ton of other Sophias in the world. I mean, Sophia Loren did okay.

In short, if you're thinking about spending $30,000 on a baby name, drop me a line. I'll give you a whole bunch of ideas for just half the price! And none of them will be Sno FilmOn Dot Com.

 

Image via TiggerT/Flickr

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