10 Types of Moms You Meet on the Maternity Ward

pregnant momIt's been about nine months since you found out you were expecting a little bundle of joy, and the time has finally come to grab that overnight bag and head to the maternity ward. The time has also come for several other moms-to-be, and chances are, you won't be the only  laboring woman in your hospital's labor and delivery ward. Get ready to meet an entire new cast of characters: the other moms.

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Here are the 10 types you'll find laboring in the maternity ward on the precious day of your child's birth.

The Screamer
Ah yes, the screamer. She's in pain, and has no intention of getting through this ordeal quietly. She's usually in transition, and has just found out that it's too late to get an epidural. Don't let her scare you!

The Blamer
Childbirth is everyone's fault but her own. Her husband for getting her pregnant, the doctor for not managing the pain well enough, her mom for making it sound easy, her best friend for forgetting the scented candles, her older child for praying for a little brother or sister ... it's just not her fault. Nor is it yours.

The Sounds-Like-She's-Conceiving Mom
Some mamas don't scream when they're in labor, they, um, moan. Quite loudly. She may be having one of those orgasmic births you read about on the Internet. If she's in the hallway, other patients avoid eye contact. Try to give her a smile.

The Social Butterfly
This mom's hospital room seems to have a revolving door with the amount of people in and out to see her while she labors. You can often hear her boisterous laughter coming from her direction, as she cracks a joke about how amazing her epidural is. You want to secretly hate her, but can't, because she's already made friends with you and exchanged Facebook information. You hope you don't regret it later.

More from The Stir: My Mom & Mother-in-Law Were in the Delivery Room With Me -- Big Mistake

The Planned C-Section Mom
Her pedicure is perfect and the going home outfit is pressed. The nanny brings any older children by the hospital after the birth, where mom is propped up in bed in a custom monogrammed robe made just for the occasion. Don't get too jealous. Just don't.

The Crunchy Mom
If she chooses to give birth at the hospital instead of at home or at a birthing center, she is rarely seen without her doula. She spends most of her labor alternating between walking the halls and bouncing on one of those giant stability balls. She has everything she needs on hand for her umbilical cord burning ceremony, and she will readily chat during contractions about the benefits of dehydrated placenta capsules after the birth.

The Nervous First-Timer
If you're looking for a nurse, check this mom's room. She's hit the "call" button so many times that someone has likely decided to just set up camp in there, rather than running back and forth. Her husband and her mom will be there too, trying to calm her down with ice chips and foot rubs. Maybe she'll share the support team? She's got plenty of bodies to spare.

More from The Stir: 20 Craziest Things Moms Have Shouted While Giving Birth

The Know-It-All First Timer
Some moms are experts before they even have children. This lady has read all the books, thinks most women blow the pain way out of proportion, and she has a laminated birth plan that must not be deviated from. She still may end up being The Screamer, but she's trying her darndest not to.

The Veteran
It's her fourth baby, and she's chill about the whole experience. In fact, this is practically vacation for her, except she's enjoying an epidural instead of a pina colada. She is your guru. Learn from her!

The Grandma
She's technically not a mom on the floor -- or at least not a mom in a bed -- but a grandma will sometimes run the show when a new mama gives birth. She answers the doctor's questions, doles out unsolicited advice, and may spend the next two years complaining to her book club that the baby wasn't named after her (even though it was a boy and her name is Gertrude). Just remember she did this for you once.

What types of moms did you encounter when you gave birth?

 

Image via © iStock.com/101dalmatians

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