20 Craziest Things Moms Have Shouted While Giving Birth

knocked up birth sceneYou're sweating profusely, possibly hopped up on pain relievers, and about to push a human being out of a very small hole. We think you're more than a little deserving of spewing some verbal carnage. Heck, you're on the verge of delivering life. So is it any wonder the words coming out of your mouth aren't exactly ... sane? You can't be held responsible for what you say when you're giving birth. What happens in the delivery room stays in the delivery room.

Advertisement

Except, of course, when you're later reminded of the hilarious lines, jokes, and shouts you emitted while birthing your children. And that's exactly what we did. We asked moms about the craziest things they've said in the delivery room, and yowza, these are doozies.

Here are some of the best labor lines moms 'fessed up to:

  1. "I told my OB-GYN that she shouldn't be a lesbian (she isn't, for reference) because she was too rough when she broke my water."
  2. "With my second child, I attempted a vaginal birth after cesarean. After 36 hours of hard labor, and two and a half hours of pushing, I was rushed in for an emergency C-section. When I finally got something for the pain (since they withhold everything for VBACs), I kissed the anesthesiologist and told him I loved him. Apparently, I thought he was my husband."
  3. "To my doctor, when delivering my son: 'If you can see his head, why don't you just rip him out?'"

    More from The Stir: 11 Craziest Things Moms Were Told While They Were in Labor

  4. "My partner kept reminding me to breathe. I turned to him and said, "I f***ing know!'"
  5. "I literally closed my legs and told my husband and doctor, 'I'll come back tomorrow.'"
  6. "I just screamed, 'Epidural. Now!'"
  7. "Apparently, I was calling all the nurses 'bitches.' This was my first baby and I was very young, in my defense."
  8. "When I got to the hospital, I was already in transition. My contractions were two minutes apart, and I was really hurting. The nurse started asking me questions like what kind of birth control I plan to be using. I looked and her and shouted, 'no more babies!'"
  9. "When my son was finally out and they were handing him to me, I just kept asking, "he's mine?!'"
  10. "Don't get my wrong, I love my son. But he's my fourth baby boy. When he was born, apparently I yelled, 'It's not a girl?! Put it back in and let's try again!'"
  11. "I didn't scream. I didn't yell. I just muttered the F word under my breath. Over. And over. And over. Yes, my poor kid came into this world riding on a salty sea of F bombs."
  12. "I said I was afraid to push because I felt the urge to poop. My doctor, who didn't know English well, started arguing with me that 'poop' isn't a real word and that he didn't know what it means. We had quite an intense back and forth."
  13. "'I want to die.'"

    More from The Stir: 18 Worst Things Said to Moms During Labor & Delivery

  14. "I announced, 'OK, I can't do this, so you guys are going to have to figure something else out.'"
  15. "To the doctor, "while you're down there, go ahead and tie those tubes, thankyouverymuch.'"
  16. "My poor husband had to witness this one. I just kept screaming, 'Why me?! Why, oh God, why me?!'"
  17. "During an induced labor with my daughter, I was finally able to get my epidural. I was in a fog and distinctly remember yelling at my dad to 'Stop pressing all those damn buttons!' Poor Dad was on the completely opposite side of the room."
  18. "I have no memory of this, but I apparently told my boyfriend that we'd never, ever have sex again!"
  19. "With my second child, I announced that I was going to Mexico. I guess I thought leaving the country would somehow get me out of labor."
  20. "Like Michael Scott, I just screamed, 'NO!'"

Did you say anything crazy while in labor? Share your story below!

 

 

Image via Universal Pictures

Read More >