Why Men Cheat When You're Pregnant

depressed pregnant woman

"How could he -- now?" That's what every woman who's ever been cheated on while pregnant wonders. Just when planning for your future gets real, you're at your most vulnerable, and when you're likely feeling less confident about your body, he betrays you. Why would any man do this? How often does it happen? And is your husband at risk for cheating on you while you're pregnant?

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We asked a couple of online mom communities if anyone had been cheated on while pregnant. "When I was younger and married to someone else, yes," says one 26-year-old who is now expecting her second child with a new, more trustworthy, husband.

More From The Stir: 6 Reasons Pregnant Women Should Be Having More Sex

Another mom shared one of the more humiliating results of finding out about her husband's infidelity:

I didn't find out until my DD was two months old. I had to go back to the doctor and ask not only for STD testing, but HIV testing as well since I was nursing. I was so broken and humiliated. Luckily, I had a wonderful doctor who made me feel very comfortable. What should have been the happiest time of my life was actually the worst time of my life.

My heart breaks for her. What a way to begin your life as a mother!

Then there's this shocking statistic in a Daily Mail article that profiled three women whose partners cheated on them while they were pregnant: according to psychologist Robert Rodriguez, author of What's Your Pregnant Man Thinking?, 10 percent of fathers-to-be cheat on their partners during pregnancy.

That's 1 in 10!

But come on, is it really that common? Keep in mind, these fathers-to-be aren't necessarily married or in clearly defined committed relationships.

A 2012 study shows that pregnancy does put husbands at a slightly higher risk for infidelity. But here's the surprising thing: Men say they desire sex with their pregnant wives as much, if not more, than they did before pregnancy. In fact, many husbands say they find their wives' pregnant bodies even sexier. So what gives? Why are they cheating, then? Some possible reasons include:

1. Having sex less often because the wife's sex drive is lower or because the husband is concerned about her health and the safety of the baby.

2. Husbands worrying about how the baby will change their role in their marriage.

Many pregnant women have a lower sex drive because they feel like their bodies are less desirable. Also because pregnancy is freakin' exhausting!

More from The Stir: 18 Best Sex Positions While Pregnant

So let's put this into perspective. For married couples in general, there's just a 6 percent chance of infidelity in any given year, and there's a 25 percent chance of infidelity happening some time through the entire lifetime of a marriage.

What's more, when someone cheats, it's because of some major issue:

1. Serious, unresolved problems in your marriage.

2. Big differences in sex drive.

3. Big personality differences that you weren't aware of before.

4. A history of having been sexually abused as a child.

In other words, if he cheats on you while you're pregnant, it's because something was wrong before you even conceived. Pregnancy doesn't make anyone cheat. It can put pressure on your relationships and raise underlying problems to the surface. And even if it lowers your sex drive while your husband's is raging, that doesn't mean he will cheat. It means you need to negotiate that like the adult partners that you are. Talk it over. Come up with compromises that make you both feel loved and cherished.

Do you worry about your husband cheating while you're pregnant?

 

Image via Jarek Joepera/Shutterstock

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