You'd love to celebrate your pregnancy with loved ones and your friend has offered to throw you a shower. The problem is you're pregnant with your second or third (or heck, umpteenth) kid, and tradition says moms should only be given a baby shower for their first child. Should you accept your friend's gracious offer?
"In the past, second showers were a no-no," says Christine Landry, who blogs about etiquette at Retroette.com. "But we're seeing more of these lately."
Particularly when the circumstances call for it.
If your first baby was a girl and your husband is adamant that his son's stroller isn't pink, you might need some new things, for instance. Or if a "few" years have passed between pregnancies, that infant car seat might be long gone. "Mom probably gave away those cute baby clothes a long time ago," Landry says. "Or maybe she's having twins the second time around, which is clearly a whole other ballgame in so many ways."
Remarriage or pregnancy with a different partner is another time when a second or third shower shouldn't raise eyebrows. "Your new husband’s family is most likely very excited at the new addition and would love attending a shower," points out Megan Frisbee, a brand ambassador with GigSalad.com, an online marketplace of entertainers. "It’s also a great way to bond with his family over the newest family member."
Absent any of those factors, having a second or third shower still doesn't make you a gift-grubbing greedy mama. If your goal is to celebrate your joy with friends, there's no reason you can't have a get-together. "I recommend keeping the event casual and small -- only close friends and family," says Landry. "I've seen them called 'sprinkles' -- like a shower, but smaller. People typically gift smaller items instead of more expensive items." (Hint: Don't register.)
More from The Stir: 7 Baby Shower Rules Worth Breaking
Another option: Try asking for hand-me downs or hosting a “mom swap” where moms can bring gently used baby items. Everyone saves money that way.
Bottom line: Baby showers are ultimately a celebration of the new baby and not about the stuff. Make that clear to your guests, and we're sure they'll love to celebrate the newest member of your family.
Did you have a baby shower the second time around?
Image © Kevin Dodge/Corbis