Is It Okay to Throw Your Own Baby Shower?

Traditionally, baby showers are events where the mom-to-be kicks back, while a friend or family members take charge and throw the party in her honor. Still, though, expecting someone to send out the invitations, plan the food and activities, and open their home to a bunch of your friends is a LOT to ask. This may explain why a growing number of pregnant women are mulling over whether it's fine to throw their own baby shower ... but also fearful that it'll look trés gauche to their guests.


Here's the problem: Traditionally, one of the main M.O.'s of baby showers is to net a truckload of gifts. As such, "It's tacky to host an event for yourself where the primary goal of the event is to receive presents," says Jodi Smith at Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting. It would be like throwing a birthday party for yourself and writing "gifts expected" on the invitations.

Yet there are scenarios where it's perfectly acceptable for a mom to throw her own baby shower -- for instance, she's recently moved to the area and has no close friends or family nearby to step up to the plate. Or even if that's not the case, there are ways to do it yourself without awkwardness. For instance, if you're reluctant to burden any individual with such a large responsibility, offer to pitch in behind the scenes with your time and money. The trick is to make it at least appear to be hosted by someone else.

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Or if you do decide to boldly host the event yourself, "You might want to ask a few close friends or relatives to take care of some smaller things, such as the RSVPs or making sure food is refilled on the day of the shower," suggests Limor Suss, a lifestyle expert and founder of TrendsGirl. No heavily pregnant woman should be running around like a chicken with its head cut off planning a huge party. You should be able to relax and enjoy your baby shower.

Moms who do decide to take the plunge and host their own baby shower also reap some unique benefits. "One perk of throwing yourself a shower is that it can go the way you imagined it going," points out Megan Frisbee, a Brand Ambassador with, an online marketplace of entertainers. "You’ll feel less like a guest in your own home, and more like a facilitator of joy. So take the reigns and don’t be afraid to party!"

Would (or did) you host your own baby shower?


Image © JGI/Tom Grill/Blend Images/Corbis

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