Having a Baby Before Age 25 Is a Really Bad Idea (Got That, Guys?!)

Rant 89

biological clockHold on to your seats, ladies, because this news will make you lose your freaking minds. According to a new survey by vouchercloud.com, men believe that women should become mothers by age 25. Meanwhile, women think that the proper age to have a first child is 31.

Take a moment and let that sink in. Apparently, the quarter-century mark is the most timely age to become a mother ... according to the gentlemanly folk, at least.

I think I'll pass, thankyouverymuch.

After the initial nausea subsides from reading that statistic, I really only have one reaction: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA." Please. As if.

Finally, I've now moved on to the anger stage.

Now listen, there is nothing wrong with being a young mother. Frankly, having kids in your 20s is probably pretty bomb. You have tons of energy to keep up with those suckers, and you'll still be young when they leave the nest. It's a great plan. I respect that. If that's your decision, I applaud it.

I just won't be joining you in the PTA or daycare anytime soon, no matter what guy wants to put a time clock on my uterus. And here's why:

I'm in no way ready. Maybe it's a maturity thing (though I like to think I'm mature for my age), but I have yet to matriculate into full-fledged adult status. I refuse to sign out of my parents' cellphone plan (seriously, thanks for not writing me out yet, Mom and Dad), and as trivial as it may sound, a child-bearing and baby-raising adult might want to pay their own cellphone bill. Just maybe.

I can barely feed myself. Last week, I had a Popsicle for dinner. An actual artificially flavored frozen ice cream treat was my "dinner" because I was too lazy to walk 30 steps to the 24-hour bodega to buy a real meal. Something tells me a pediatrician would disapprove.

$$$$$. I don't think it's a secret that babies are expensive and the fact of the matter is this: I no has moneyz.

And whatever I do have goes to happy hour. And shoes. Because I heart heels and pinot grigio.

Where would it go? If any interior designer/architect can chime in here, I'd appreciate it: where would I fit a baby in my two-bedroom, 200-square-foot, New York apartment? My roommate's not going anywhere, and the living/dining/kitchen area has no room to spare. I guess I could loft my bed, but then ugh, is that a baby-proofing issue?

The bar scene needs me. Gotta make my appearances, y'all! And I don't think car seats fit on bar stools.

I can't give my mother everything she wants. Love you, Mom! But not this. Not yet, at least. I just graduated from college and landed my first job. That's enough excitement for now.

Baby names ... huh? Do you want a baby name inspired by astronomy? I'm totally your girl. But I have zero idea what I would name my child. I named my hedgehog after my favorite food (Waffles), so I guess I can continue that trend (maybe favorite drink this time?). I think "MargaritaNoSalt" will have some trouble introducing himself when he's older, though.

I need one of those "boyfriend" things first. Or at least a few of his best swimmers, and I have neither. Minor problem, possibly.

I'm not ready to see Blue's Clues on my Netflix queue. It's taken me a while to perfect my Netflix recommendations and wipe out the "Recently Watched" section to only include my favorites. I'd hate to see all that hard work go to waste.

More from The Stir20 Signs You're Ready to Have a Baby

I don't know if I want a baby. Here's a question: what if I don't want to be a mother? Or what if I want to do it later? Like, waaaaaay later. Who's to say I can't? I won't be subscribing to some other person's timeline if I don't want to.

Especially not a dude's. Nothing against the men folk, but:

friends rachel no uterus no opinion

This shop is not yet open. 

So whether you agree with one or none of my arguments, at least listen to this one: having a child and becoming a mother is your choice. No one "should" become a parent by any age. Do it when you're ready (physically, mentally, emotionally) and willing. And make it your own decision. No one else's.

Hear that guys?

Do you think 25 is a good age to be a parent?

 

Image ©iStock.com/Neyya

being a mom

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the4m... the4mutts

There is no "right" age. It depends on the person. If you're not ready/don't even know if you WANT a few crib midgets running around, then don't have them yet/at all. Good for you for recognizing that!

I, personally, had all 4 of my kids from ages 20-25. I had my first, a month after I turned 20, my last a month after I turned 25. I will be having NO MORE children, despite my husband's begging. I knew I was done, and got my tubes tied when my youngest was 2 months, then got a tummy tuck when he was 4 months. No thanks on wrecking 7,000$ worth of surgery. Besides, my husband is 40! He would be 60, when the kid was almost 20. Bleck.

You just have to know what's best for you, and your family.

kayba... kaybayblee3

Once again I agree wtih the4mutts. I had all my kids from the ages of 20-24. There is no "right time" for kids. Both my DH and I agreed that we wouldn't have kids past 30. We planned it that way because we figured we could enjoy our "empty nest" while we were both relatively young. I don't feel like I've missed out on anything. Different strokes for different folks.

squish squish

Who cares?


 

AliPa... AliParker

I had my kids young by choice. Below 22. And I love it. I feel like it benefits my family and our personal lives. In my personal life 30 is too old. I don't want to be 50 when my kids are 20. But I agree that for the most part there is no magic age. Everyone is different and everyone matures and ages differently. My little sister is 22 and as much as I love her she is still a 15 year old at heart. I, on the other hand, grew up really quickly. I was just ready to have a family and an "old lady" (as my sister calls it) life.

Everyone is ready at different times, or maybe never, and that's alright too.

nonmember avatar DJC247

I'm 24 and we have two already and we are trying for another, my husband just turned 41 last month.

Every family is different with kids or no kids, kids when you're young or kids when you're older it's all about how you want your life to be.

There is no one size fits all answer to it..

JIJsMom JIJsMom

The "right" age depends on the individual. I gave Birth to my Son five days before I turned twenty-one. It was the PERFECT age, for me. What others have to say about it, is irrelevant.

2cent... 2centsCDN

I had my first at 23 and my third and last at 28 and I wouldn't change it for anything. That was the right time for me. I'm 40 now and a few of my old school friends are just starting to have babies and all I can think is that I'm glad its not me. LOL. I can't even imagine my child graduating the same decade I retire. It is very interesting how differently the sexes perceive the "perfect" age.



On the other hand, Suzee sounds like she has a lot of growing up to do yet. You're in your 20's and you don't pay your own cellphone bill??? Its time to grow up sweetie.

Mom2S... Mom2Selena

I was 20 when I had my daughter. So I don't agree

Leiss... Leissaintexas

I think the writer needs to grow up. You're still on your parents phone plan? The bar scene needs you? Oh heavens. Do you have no pride? This attitude of prolonged adolescence makes me insane. "Adult" used to mean 18 and over. No wonder people are putting off children till their 30s. I had mine in my 20s because I grew up and became an adult when I was supposed to.

nonmember avatar Sara

You clearly have not the maturity to be a mother by you haha haha as if" response. Men are correct actually. As far as biology goes 25 is late for baby no .

We cannot alter biology but feminists and their hamsters are desperately trying.

Fast forward to age 29 or 30 when your bio clock is about to email explode. You will be out hunting for a beta who will father your kids. He will respond with "haha haha as if..... I dont wanna be with a women with ovaries chiming like big Ben, I'm gonna date the 22 yr olds....



You will be writing blogs about age shaming men for not dating old women ...

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