Growing Families

A Goodbye Letter to My Family of 3

holding handsTo My Family of Three,

During the past two years, we've gotten quite comfortable with one another. We have our routines, rotations, and habits; and we still always manage to have special one-on-one time with each other respectively. It's nice. And although it can seem a bit chaotic at times, each night, we wind down, just the three of us, in a relaxed and intimate way. There's milk, water, books, dancing, kisses, walks, whatever. Our little trio. It's our life now. And for 1/3 of the group, the only life she knows.

In a few months, we will no longer be a trio but instead a foursome. And although this new member of the club is very much welcome, it seems only right to take a moment to say goodbye to what we have now. To pay homage to our family of three.

When we first added a third to our group, I admit, it was jarring. But isn't that always how it is when somebody new joins an exclusive club? The first few months were a little awkward, what with one of the members (not mentioning any names) always crying and wanting to be held and, quite frankly, disrupting the peace rather often. But every day that passed, life as a twosome seemed a little bit more of a distant memory. Eventually, being a family of three seemed to be the way it was meant to be; the way it always was. New routines were incorporated; bed times were rescheduled to earlier time slots; and conversations changed subject matter vastly. In the blink of an eye, two of us had a completely different life. And, to be honest, we've now come to be quite accustomed to it. We often walk holding hands, all three of us, before swinging! the youngest group member high up into the sky. How does that work with four?

We eat dinner in peace now. Well, sort of. There still are giant messes made, but we're able to eat a meal each night without being interrupted. And we talk. Truth be told, some of the subject matter is a bit sophomoric, what with animal noises and whatnot, but it's a nice beginning to the portion of the day that we all spend together. During bath time, one member of the party cleans up the kitchen quickly before checking out the splishy-splashy fun. And then there always seems to be a little haphazard play on the bed before heading downstairs for stories, etc. It doesn't always seem this way, but thinking about it, it's easy right now. It's good. It's special. And there's never a doubt in anyone's mind that the person who needs the most attention is getting it.

More from The StirLoving Your Second Child as Much as Your First: Is It Possible?

I don't doubt that becoming a foursome will be amazing for everyone. But I also know that it will take some getting used to, and I would be lying if I said I didn't ever wonder, for a split second, if any of us would look back on the simpler times, the times of three, with a nostalgic fondness. There's something special about one child. Something intimate. Something ... hard to put one's finger on.

But if parenthood has taught me anything, it's that the only constant is change and the smart thing to do is to always be ready for something new. Expect the unexpected as they say. I know there will be a time when our foursome seems just as perfect as our threesome, and that life any other way will be all but impossible to imagine. But even so, it only seems right to pay a little respect to the wonderful thing we've got going on now.


A Member of the Trio

Did you ever worry about how life would be when another child was thrown into the mix?


Image © Serge Kozak/Corbis

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00NoW... 00NoWay00

I remember having a thought similar to that right before my second son was born. I was cuddling my firstborn (he was only a baby himself at 15 months) and wondering how I would ever be able to do this with another baby. Of course, we got it figured out and since my oldest was so young when his brother came along, he doesn't remember any different (of course, now at 13, I am sure he often wishes he were an only child ... LOL).

LaniBee LaniBee

Our daughter was 5 when her sister joined the trio, and I was a little worried about how we would all make the adjustment. Fortunately, it didn't take very long to get into the groove and our oldest loved being a big sister.

jessi... jessicasmom1

no I dont worry .. she is a only child

slw123 slw123

When we had our second child everything came together so easily that after a few weeks it felt as though he had always been with us. But I did worry how things would change before we met him.

Kmakk... Kmakksmom

No, our children have each come into our lives seamlessly.

Mistr... MistressMinerva

I only had one and made sure I only had one.

Madel... Madelaine

I did not worry, we have 3 and it has worked out fine.

Siste... Sisteract

2 was easier and better than one.

Desir... Desirae1394

I worried slightly about #3 only because there was a big age gap and I knew there wasn't going to be a fourth.

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