baby handsAnother pregnant woman has died before she could see her baby -- and another baby enters the world without meeting their mother. During a snowstorm yesterday, Min Lin, 36, was hit by a snowplow while she was loading groceries with her husband into the trunk of their car in New York City. The snow plow (actually a utility vehicle with a plow attached) was backing up into a rear parking lot of a shopping mall. Lin was rushed to the hospital and pronounced dead there, but doctors were able to deliver her 6-pound, 6-ounce baby, who is now in intensive care.

Naturally the baby's family isn't eager to talk with the media, and I hope their privacy is respected at this devastating time. But this story, and the recent story about the brain-dead woman kept alive for her unborn baby, have me wondering how families keep the memory of lost mothers alive for their children.

No one wants to consider this a possibility when they're expecting a child. It's the last thing you'd want to contemplate. But what if? I think most families would want to raise their child with some idea of who their mother was. 

On the other hand, you'd have to be careful not to put your very big, grownup feelings on your child. They can't carry your grief for you. And you wouldn't want them to feel bereft and deprived because their mother is dead -- although isn't that kind of inevitable?

I imagine families might put together special scrapbooks, photo albums, videos to help their child understand their mother. It would be in your hands to shape how your child knows this person they'll never meet. That must be an intimidating responsibility -- but also an opportunity to remember someone in a beautiful way.

At any rate, my heart goes out to these families. I can only imagine the mixed feelings of welcoming a new, young life just as you're saying goodbye to the love of your life.

How would you want to be remembered if you died just before your baby was born?

 

Image via Andrew Malone/Flickr