Kailyn Lowry may be a reality star, but the mother of two has gained a faithful following of fans in large part because she's not afraid to open up about the tough stuff going on in her life. This week the star of Teen Mom 2 quietly shared a pregnancy confession on her Instagram page. Beside a photo of her sleeping newborn, Lincoln, Kail 'fessed up that her second pregnancy was far from ideal. In fact, Kailyn went so far as to admit she did not "connect" to her second son during pregnancy.
Pretty brave of her to say it, don't you think? With the way people swarm around these Teen Moms, ready to criticize anything they say? Still, I'm glad she's speaking out.
As Kail said of Lincoln:
Such a good baby. You guys have no idea. I don't even know how I could be so lucky. I was not connected to this second pregnancy like I was when I was pregnant with Isaac but as soon as this little human being was born it's like every feeling and anxiety I had was reversed. I swear to you this baby boy doesn't ever cry unless he's hungry and even then I hate letting him get to that point. I really cannot express the love I have for my Lincoln.
What a difference the time from gestation to birth can make, huh? I know a fair amount of women who have suffered through feelings of being a "bad mom" before their children are even born because they just can't form an emotional bond with someone they haven't met yet.
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In Kailyn's case, when I sat down with her a few weeks ago to talk about what we'd see of her pregnancy on season 5 of Teen Mom 2, she admitted things were rough because she and husband Javi Marroquin were living two hours apart for much of the pregnancy. Javi was in Delaware, where the Air Force has him stationed, while she was in Pennsylvania, still trying to sort out custody of son Isaac with ex-boyfriend Jo Rivera. On top of that, Kailyn was working and planning their wedding, and it all became overwhelming.
As she told The Stir:
I felt like I just wasn't connected to it because we went into it wanting to have a baby, and then it turned into the whole pregnancy having so much stress surrounding it that it just didn't make it fun. It was a rough time.
It's an agonizing thing, and it can be disappointing to want a baby so badly, become pregnant, and then not feel over the moon. It makes you feel like somewhere along the way you've lost your mooring.
I should know.
I've been there. I suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum for the bulk of my pregnancy, and the misery of being sick 24 hours a day for months on end often made me question my decision to get pregnant at all, which then made me question if I could really be a good mom if I was already having doubts.
Looking back, I realize how ridiculous it all was to put that kind of pressure on myself. Sometimes pregnancy is hard -- be it outside circumstances like Kail's or something physical. It's bound to take a toll on how you're feeling.
But you are NOT a bad mom if you can't "connect" with the baby in your belly or because you're not all glitter and rainbows when you're pregnant. Nor are you alone. Feelings like yours, feelings like Kailyn's are pretty normal. Some moms will even take awhile to bond after baby is born.
What's important is that you do fall in love with your baby, eventually, and you shower them with all that love and hold them dear ... for the rest of their lives. If only more moms realized this and stopped getting so down on themselves!
Then again, the more women like Kailyn are willing to share their stories, the less alone moms will feel. Here's hoping anyway.
What do you think of Kailyn's confession? Do you find her to be relatable?
Image by Jeanne Sager