'Teen Mom' Kailyn Lowry Makes Heartbreaking Pregnancy Confession

Kailyn LowryKailyn Lowry may be a reality star, but the mother of two has gained a faithful following of fans in large part because she's not afraid to open up about the tough stuff going on in her life. This week the star of Teen Mom 2 quietly shared a pregnancy confession on her Instagram page. Beside a photo of her sleeping newborn, Lincoln, Kail 'fessed up that her second pregnancy was far from ideal. In fact, Kailyn went so far as to admit she did not "connect" to her second son during pregnancy.

Pretty brave of her to say it, don't you think? With the way people swarm around these Teen Moms, ready to criticize anything they say? Still, I'm glad she's speaking out.

As Kail said of Lincoln:

Such a good baby. You guys have no idea. I don't even know how I could be so lucky. I was not connected to this second pregnancy like I was when I was pregnant with Isaac but as soon as this little human being was born it's like every feeling and anxiety I had was reversed. I swear to you this baby boy doesn't ever cry unless he's hungry and even then I hate letting him get to that point. I really cannot express the love I have for my Lincoln.

What a difference the time from gestation to birth can make, huh? I know a fair amount of women who have suffered through feelings of being a "bad mom" before their children are even born because they just can't form an emotional bond with someone they haven't met yet.

More From The Stir: Kailyn Lowry Wants to Be a Role Model for Crunchy Moms

In Kailyn's case, when I sat down with her a few weeks ago to talk about what we'd see of her pregnancy on season 5 of Teen Mom 2, she admitted things were rough because she and husband Javi Marroquin were living two hours apart for much of the pregnancy. Javi was in Delaware, where the Air Force has him stationed, while she was in Pennsylvania, still trying to sort out custody of son Isaac with ex-boyfriend Jo Rivera. On top of that, Kailyn was working and planning their wedding, and it all became overwhelming.

As she told The Stir:

I felt like I just wasn't connected to it because we went into it wanting to have a baby, and then it turned into the whole pregnancy having so much stress surrounding it that it just didn't make it fun. It was a rough time.

It's an agonizing thing, and it can be disappointing to want a baby so badly, become pregnant, and then not feel over the moon. It makes you feel like somewhere along the way you've lost your mooring.

I should know.

I've been there. I suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum for the bulk of my pregnancy, and the misery of being sick 24 hours a day for months on end often made me question my decision to get pregnant at all, which then made me question if I could really be a good mom if I was already having doubts. 

Looking back, I realize how ridiculous it all was to put that kind of pressure on myself. Sometimes pregnancy is hard -- be it outside circumstances like Kail's or something physical. It's bound to take a toll on how you're feeling.

But you are NOT a bad mom if you can't "connect" with the baby in your belly or because you're not all glitter and rainbows when you're pregnant. Nor are you alone. Feelings like yours, feelings like Kailyn's are pretty normal. Some moms will even take awhile to bond after baby is born.

What's important is that you do fall in love with your baby, eventually, and you shower them with all that love and hold them dear ... for the rest of their lives. If only more moms realized this and stopped getting so down on themselves!

Then again, the more women like Kailyn are willing to share their stories, the less alone moms will feel. Here's hoping anyway.

What do you think of Kailyn's confession? Do you find her to be relatable?

 

Image by Jeanne Sager

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nonmember avatar ?

And this is heartbreaking...how?

Janette Chaviano Alonso

I had this problem and know just how she feels...we got pregnant with number 4 when number 3 was just 2 months. I was putting so much time into my new born I didn't have time to really think about being pregnant. As my new born got older I went through the how what have we done stage. Felt like I was screwing all my kids lives up because we got pregnant again. The we found out number 4 was another boy and since we just had a boy we didn't have a reason to really buy things. I felt super bad that I wasn't preparing for number 4. It was tough and suffered postpartum after giving birth to number 4.

nonmember avatar Katie

I had two complication free pregnancies but honestly hated being pregnant (I'm sure it had to do with working 40 hours a week on my feet with weird hours). I never felt like I was suppose to. Not that I didn't want my kids, I just never felt that glow. Of course once my kids were born things were different. Being able to hold them, kiss them, cuddle them, and see their faces made a big difference.


It is not heartbreaking to hate/dislike/feel disconnected during pregnancy. You are being poked and prodded by doctors, family, friends, and strangers along with questions and testing and the like. Never had I felt like public oproperty than I did when I was pregnant

Bethany Potter

My oldest was 8 months old when I found out that we were expecting #2. Between being busy with my baby, working and going thru a diffuclt marriage and family situation, I didnt feel at all connected with #2 during my pregnancy. I often joked with my husband that the oldest would be "Mine" and he could have the one in the oven! lol! Even at the hospital, while I fell madly and deeply in love with her, I still didnt have that instant connection that I had with my first. I felt like I was simply going thru the motions. Our bond had to grow. But as it did she became my best friend. I love her more than I even knew was possible. Today I look back at that time and wish that I could go back and tell myself to stop being so hard on myself! If I knew then what I know now, it would have been a lot less stressful of a pregnancy!
To other moms.... the first pregnancy is such a new and wonderful experiance! Youre learning so much during that time about your body, how to be a mom and experiancing for the first time ever the deepest love you will ever know. After the 1st, a lot of the mystery is gone and it can feel like youre just going thru the motions, especially is you have little ones at home. Give yourself a break! You will love the next one just as much as you love the first, but in a way that is new and unique to that child :)

nonmember avatar Brena

With my first I instantly bonded during pregnancy. Even with the Hyperemesis and SPD. But when I got unexpectedly pregnant with my 2nd child, I was already going through a rough time. We had just started to learning my 3 year old son has Autism, money probelms, and a whole host of other issues. I didnt want to be pregnant. I didn't want the new baby to be born into the chaos around us at that time. Plus with the hyperemesis and SPD I didnt think I could make it through another pregnancy.

But around 17 weeks, I began bleeding. I thought the baby I had just started to feel moving a few weeks before was now dieing, and it broke my heart. I cried when they were doing the ultrasound because I was so worried. The techincain reassured me everything was fine with my beautiful little girl. And went through everything in the ultrasound with me. She was so cute and sassy, sucking her thumb and bouncing her crossed legs. And that tech took a big risk since telling me the gender was against policy. I hadnt even asked. She just told me. Ever since that night I have loved my baby ever since. I guess it was one of those "you don't know what you have till it could be gone" things. But now that we have got a doctor that is helping us with my son, the situation is getting better and better. And that is all I could ask for.

nonmember avatar stacy

kailyn.......you need help very badly !!!! i do not like you on teenmom 2.......you treat jo and javi both very badly........i hope each of them takes their babies and put you in a mental hospital for awhile ! those poor dogs......and poor jo and javi and the poor children !!!!!!! kailyn you are nasty, very much child like and very SICK !!!!! please get some help........check yourself into a mental hospital asap ! those poor dogs.....i hope they take those dogs away from you and find them better homes ! NOT A FAN of you
stacy

Tim Meads

This girl is a gold digger.

nonmember avatar Nicole Ellis

I connected right away with he first but I pushed for so long that I feel as though I didn't have that first time you see your baby glow. With my second I didn't feel as connected as my girls are only 15 months apart. My first baby needed that attention, but I do feel like my birthing experience was wah better and I had that instant glow that I did not have with the first. But that doesn't go without saying that I love my girls boh the same. She shouldn't feel guilty at all she is just human being and things aren't always going to be perfect

lizzi... lizzielu9

Stacy...I think you are the one that belongs in a mental hospital. And do you really think Kailyn is reading this?! Lol

fires... firespurity

I felt this way with my second child. I had the overwhelming fear that I wouldn't love him as much as my daughter, or worse he would steal my love that belonged to my daughter. Going from one to two is very emotional. It's hard to grasp how you can love two children.

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