9 Nightmarish Things No One Ever Tells You About the Third Trimester

Rant 51

I've really enjoyed being pregnant. Up until month 7. That was when some really freaky and sometimes downright hellish things have begun happening to my body that are making me wish I could give birth tomorrow. When I became pregnant, I was well aware of what would take place during the first trimester -- morning sickness, fatigue, yada yada. And I knew the second trimester was going to be that glorious time when I resembled a goddess and could still run a marathon without breaking a sweat. But no one really told me about the third trimester. Back aches don't even begin to cover it. Here are 9 things that can happen any time between your seventh and ninth month -- don't say I didn't warn you. 

1. Your baby suddenly becomes alive at night, just as you are preparing to go to sleep. Like something out of a horror film, he stretches his hand or foot out from your belly and you spend the next three hours (when you should be peacefully sleeping) watching your abdomen rise and fall like the ocean. 

More from The Stir: 15 Gross Pregnancy Symptoms That Stick Around Long After the Baby Is Born

2. Your urine smells absolutely foul because of the insane number of hormones coursing through your body.

3. You experience constant discharge. I mean, constant. It isn't unusual that you'll need to change your underwear three times a day.

4. Doctor appointments can become scarier. The same doctor who had a poker face for eight months looks surprised when he finds out your baby hasn't turned by 34 weeks. He then discusses with you the procedure he can do in-office to ensure your baby isn't breach and you almost pass out hearing the details.

5. You can easily pee when you sneeze.

6. If this is your first pregnancy or you've never experienced typical contractions (I was induced with my firstborn and got an epi right away, so this applies to me), you have no idea what everyone is talking about when they tell you you'll know when you're going into labor. You stay awake feeling the baby move around and wonder if these are contractions. Chances are, you'll take at least one trip to your doctor or hospital, be told you aren't in labor, and be sent home.

7. Did my legs always look this ... big? Serious body dysmorphia may kick in because every part of your body suddenly seems swollen and you have zero recollection of what you looked like pre-baby. 

8. Oh hello, constipation. This is the time when three prunes a day = absolutely necessary. You'll also begin paying attention to all of those commercials for fibrous foods and hemorrhoid cream that you thought only applied to grandmas.

9. Sex? Nope. No way. Not happening. And even more shocking? Am missing the ability to sleep on my stomach even more than I'm missing sex.

What are you experiencing during your third trimester?

Image via koadmunkee/Flickr

3rd trimester, baby prep, is it normal, pregnancy health, pregnant sleep, tests & procedures, weight gain


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Laura Palmer

Round Ligament pain.... omg I had to wear a stupid maternity belt just to be able to walk around without crying...

Ryans... Ryansmom87

My knees and my feet ached like hell! That was 4 years ago and I still remember the pain! lol oh and not being able to get comfortable sitting because I couldn't breath due to the feet in my ribcage! lol 

amand... amanda_mom89

Maybe I'm weird this is the third trimester of my second pregnancy and I really haven't experienced much of any of these issues. DH and I had sex the night before I was induced with our first. I've never had hemorrhoids and I've only occasionally been slightly constipated.

My biggest complaints are fatigue and heartburn. Other than that no issues.

caleb... calebsmama12312

The dreams I had were terrifying! They just got more & more scary & real the further my pregnancy progressed.

00NoW... 00NoWay00

With my second I was at a +2 station for the last three or four weeks.  So, I had a baby literally in my pelvis and would waddle, crack and pop with every movement.  I rememer that I just wanted him O-U-T!  Of course, he waited until just two days before his due date to be born.  :)  (This was 12 years ago!)  Ryansmom ... my son also liked to have his feet in my rib cage.  I would constantly have to push down on my belly to get his feet out.

JessL... JessLogansMommy

Wow, I guess I was lucky those sound terrible!  My biggest problem was heartburn.  Also, everytime I had to pee or even thought about peeing I would have braxton hicks that nearly knocked me over. 

Kristen Johnson

Just hit week 29. My biggest thing is can't figure out how to sit comfortably. partly due to my clothes not fitting right anymore but hey, I am not going to spend more money on more clothes. I have horrible acid reflux( only with my two boys) and sex HA! NEVER! But I do for my S/O and it royally sucks! Braxton hicks whenever I eat and usually after or even during sex to. yup I am good and ready, I just know my lil guy isn't

Sarah... SarahHall58

My ankles are killing me and this baby kicks around like crazy.

nonmember avatar Jaide

Oh man, I was a sex maniac during the 3rd trimester. I wore my husband out and that's really saying something lol

ABCMo... ABCMomma0211

You can't sit comfortable at all. 

Plus, I was like that, I never felt any contractions with my first because I was like you, got the epi the second I coud. So I had no idea what was real. 

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