6 Ways Not to Pick Your Baby's Name

naming babiesPicking a baby's name is easily one of the hardest things most pregnant women do during their nine-month incubation stint. It's almost impossible to choose a name that everyone agrees is beautiful and perfect. So you know what? Learn to stop caring what other people think. That's the ticket.

Of course, that doesn't mean that EVERY way people choose to name babies is the best. Personally, I am a big believer in a name with meaning. If he or she is not named for a deceased family member, then what about a famous person you admire or a poet who once moved you to tears? A season he or she was conceived in or a place that means a lot to you?

Naming a child ought to be something done with love and care, so while there are no wrong names, per se, there ARE wrong ways to choose them. Here are six ways no one should choose their baby names:

1.) From a stripper: You may have had a grand time with Stormy, the warrior goddess from Tucson, but guess what? Your child will have resumes to send out some day. She will want to be respectable. You will want to explain that her name came from your heart, not from your loins. You are looking for a million-dollar name and that's way too many dollar bills.

2.) Out of a name book: Oh I know, people do it all the time, but this just seems kind of boring. If you ARE going to go with a name book, at least make it a themed one. Are you Jewish? Choose a Hebrew baby name book. Italian? Great Italian names. At least then there is some heritage and tie to the past.

3.) Make one up: Look, everyone has a right to name how they see fit. But don't do this. Please. Mowaynatide will thank you. Sure, there are some beautiful made up names. They do exist. But more often than not, they just sound silly and wrong.

4.) Anything commercial (think Tide or Pepsi): Just. Don't. Do. It. It's wrong. It's cruel. It's not going to make you rich. Just tacky.

5.) Selling it on eBay: To any parent even contemplating selling their baby naming rights on eBay, think again. Anyone who would buy those rights PROBABLY doesn't have your child's best interests at heart. Just sayin'.

6.) Family pressure: You may have adored your Great Aunt Sivia and your mother may REALLY wish you would name your baby girl for her. If you like the name, grab it and run. But if not? Don't give in! Name your baby the name that fits you best. Or find a compromise. Whatever you do, don't end up hating your kid's name 10 years from now and wishing you'd told your mom to can it when you could. Stand tough!

How did you name your baby?


Image via Alan O'Rourke/Flickr

baby names


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lalab... lalaboosh

Why don't we just go ahead and assign numbers instead of names.

Will you and other picky bitches be happy then?

nonmember avatar Victoria

I don't get why you think a baby name book is a bad thing. Maybe the parents want to know the meaning of the name they're giving their kid. An atheist probably won't name their kid something that meant "God's gift" for example. Also, since I refuse to name my children after anyone who's alive, baby name books are full of options I might not think of. Or when mom and dad can't come to an agreement, they can use a book for inspiration.

Dolce... Dolcepsle

Baby name books can help direct you. Not always a bad thing. I'd rather someone use that then pick a product like Lexus to name their kid after.

That being said, NEVER tell people the name you are using. Someone will complain about it. Just name your baby the name you like and everyone will eventually get accustomed to it, even if it means finding a nickname for them.

nonmember avatar Meaghan

What happens when your husband insist on naming the baby with names you are not particularly fond of? We are English/Irish and he wants to name our baby if it is a girl a Greek name...ummmm there are are no Greek traits about either one of us. I say since I'm caring it for 9 months, I pick...ha ha!

ena5 ena5

I named my babies..in a theme lol.. Our son is Julian..we both liked the name..easy to say in spanish and english..we're bilinguals on both sides of the family..when our beautiful child passed away..his baby brother was on the way..and we named him Jordan Emmanuel..to keep the theme going..an the middle name because of the meaning God is with us..we came to decide on JOrdan..because of the J..we couldnt decide..and my mom came up with it..and my husbands favorite athlete was Michael Jordan..so he was excited..

mommy... mommyvidana

we named our first son Ryan, I really liked it because its a nice name. My husband liked it because he listens to Ryan seacrest in the morning. Lol our second son after my husbands dad, Jesse. Our third on the way I really like the name Dylan my husband wants Matthew as a middle name, with the initials of DMV.lol

Zelly Black

If I have a girl her name will be Azeliah Lorene (az-eh-lei-ah). One of my friends actually came up with the first name for a character she created, taking my name and adding an "h" at the end and pronouncing it differently. I thought it was pretty and used it. Lorene is a family tradition to pass onto the girls in the family.

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