How My Innocent Pregnancy Joke Became a 'Major Health Scare'

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When I was pregnant with my second child, I had been blogging for a few years, mostly sharing the antics of our day-to-day family life and the hilarious things her then 4-year-old sister said.

Always one to be tongue-in-cheek, I may have written something smart-assy about my gestating baby, thinking everyone would get the joke. Boy was I wrong!

In the profile section of my blog, I wrote:

“I have recently been diagnosed with a parasite in my abdomen. The pest is causing tremendous weight gain, unpredictable mood swings, and incredible exhaustion. Doctors say the issue should resolve itself in April.”

I had written a lot about my pregnancy, and even had one of those little ticking sidebar things counting down to April 1, my daughter’s due date.

Obvious, right?

Except for some sweet older family members that contacted my husband and wanted to know what kind of viral or bacterial infection I had that doctors wouldn’t be able to treat until the baby was born.

They were also concerned that I would be blogging about such a serious matter without telling our family about it first. My husband, who was unaware that I had been quite so clever on my little blog, told the relatives that I was fine, and they must have read it on someone else’s blog.

Now since they had had the site bookmarked, and you know, there were pictures of my family and me all over it, not to mention my last name that I shared with them, they became very concerned that I not only hadn’t told my extended family about this awful infection, but my own husband!

So I ended up getting sort of interventioned about it -- after much prayer, they decided that they needed to tell me that I had to tell my husband about such a serious health scare, and that I might want to think more carefully next time before I posted something like that on the Internet.

At this point I was confused as all get out, because I was thinking, WTF are they talking about? I’m perfectly healthy. Second trimester for the win!

It finally got all figured out, with not a little bit of tsk-tsking over calling my unborn baby a “parasite” and a “pest.” It was a joke, people!

You should’ve seen the time I posted on Facebook that I was “knocked up.” My favorite comment on that one was something along the lines of, “In my generation we didn’t say such vulgar things!”

Do you have any awesome pregnancy-related misunderstandings?


Image via Jenny Erikson

complications, emotions, motherhood, pregnancy health, the pregnant life


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Andrea Losinger

I think it's in bad taste to call your baby a parasite or a pest. Sounds like maybe you shouldn't share your blog with family if they don't share your paticular sense of humor.

ds79 ds79

Oh geez Andrea!!! People just don't have a sense of humor's exhausting lol:) Funny post;)

Elaine Cox

good lord people...take the stick out of the rear end and smile

nonmember avatar Kelly

Well, this site does cater to all kinds...

Wendy Garcia

OMG are you kidding me.Its a joke.Apparently some people (even commenting here) have no sense of humor. She didn't call her the devil or a spawn.

nonmember avatar rmiv

I scared my husband to death one time, I was about 6 months pregnant. I was home cleaning and a knife fell down on my hand and sliced it open. I had some complications throughtout the pregnancy so I called him all the time with random Dr appointments. So I call him and tell him I need to go to the ER. He freaked out and came home as quick as possible, even running a few stop signs on his way. He gets home freaking out about the baby and doesn't even notice the bloody towel wraped around my hand. Poor guy, I had to talk him down and tell him I had just cut my hand and I needed stiches. I think I mentioned that I cut my hand but all he remembers is me saying I had to go to the ER.

Sarah... SarahHall58

Haha I call mine the alien. It's funny. It's your familiar that obviously doesn't get it.

nonmember avatar cristy

Totally funny. Get a sense of humor. If the mother to be doesn't have a problem joking a certain way about her baby than it shouldn't be such a big deal.

On a different note I had my doctor tell me that the baby could be called a parasite. They have some of the same characteristics. I also remember reading somewhere that if it wasn't for our bodies producing something (can't remember what) we would reject the fetus because it is a parasite. Foreign to us.

Knowing that, makes her joke more funny.

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