MTV's show 16 & Pregnant is known for showing the many difficulties that come with young motherhood, but the subject of pregnancy loss and difficulties that any mother can experience aren't generally discussed. Tragically, Nikkole Paulun, one of the stars of an earlier show whose older son is now 3, DID have a stillbirth with her second son. She is now opening up to Radaronline.com and talking about it.
Paulun was due with her second son in late August, but back in late July, things didn't feel right. She went in for an ultrasound and was told that her baby, whom she had already named Ashton, had died in the womb.
It's hard to imagine a more devastating thing. Once you make it past the 12-week mark, typically as a pregnant woman, you feel "safe." As we all know, there is no time when the risk is zero. But still. The odds are in your favor, which makes this all the more painful.
I cried. I was like in shock. I just couldn’t understand why and I was confused. I didn’t think that was actually going to happen.
Sadly, no one does. These things happen and no one knows why. It's part of what makes birth and pregnancy so scary. Paulun said she was embarrassed and ashamed about it and didn't want an autopsy because she didn't want to know what happened.
I am sure that shame is normal. But it isn't her fault, and by speaking out about her loss, she is helping other women who may have experiences similar losses.
It's not easy to discuss painful topics, but you really must. It's for the good of everyone (including yourself) to be open about what happened and to stop blaming yourself.
Pregnancy loss is something people rarely talk about, but it happens to so many women. Women end up feeling alone, like they did something wrong. Bravo to Nikkole to stepping out and talking about something so painful with such openness. It can't be easy.
She has to know though that she is using her notoriety for good here. Good for her.
Did you experience pregnancy loss? Did you talk about it?
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