Woman Discovers She's Pregnant ... With Somebody Else's Child

pregnant silhouetteEven the most uneventful pregnancy comes with a fair amount of challenges -- from the waiting and hoping to the worries to the physical discomforts. I know I experienced a rollercoaster of emotions during both of my pregnancies, and they were as "textbook" (for lack of a better word) as pregnancies come. So I can't even begin to wrap my head around what Carolyn Savage's 4th pregnancy must have been like. Author of the book "Inconceivable: A Mistake, the Baby We Couldn't Keep, and Our Decision to Deliver the Ultimate Gift," Savage and her husband thought they'd been through it all when it came to conception, pregnancy and childbirth: One "textbook," one preemie, 4 miscarriages, 3 IVFs and an 11 year stretch of infertility before the birth of their third child. Then came the fateful call from Savage's fertility specialist: Carolyn was pregnant again, "but there'd been a mistake and the wrong embryos had been transferred."

(Is your jaw on the floor?!)

"To characterize us as terrified is probably an understatement," writes Savage. Can you imagine?! I honestly can't. It's one thing to sign up for the position of surrogate -- to get pregnant with someone else's child knowing without question that at the end of those 9 months, you'll hand that baby over to his parents. But those are some unbelievably difficult cards to be dealt -- yet Savage somehow managed to play those cards. She writes:

Saying goodbye was messy and the aftermath was plain ugly. Fortunately, by trusting my maternal instincts and forgiving my missteps, I've managed, with some time, to land in a peaceful place. My fourth child is healthy and happy living with his rightful family, and my family is thriving. It was a leap of faith and our journey wasn't perfect but even though it was scary we managed to make it through. 

A leap of faith, indeed! Not to mention an act of courage. As parents, we all struggle and mess up and learn and look back and shake our heads and wonder how we survived, but damn. I give this woman a lot if credit.

What would you do if you found out you were pregnant with somebody else's baby?

 

Image via mahalie/Flickr

trying to conceive, pregnancy health, pregnancy confessions, motherhood, infertility, emotions

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Alynn74 Alynn74

Sue the shit out of the assholes who messed up so bad and put me and my family and the other family, through so much crap!

Mrs.D... Mrs.Duncan85

This story is old, both women have written books that were published a few years ago

Irela... Ireland69

I have a question if your a surrogate mother. Does the child not share your blood in some form or something it is breathing in your fluids does it kind of make it yours also? 

Jan Stuber

Sue the fertility clinic.

nonmember avatar Meg

@Ireland69. During pregnancy a child and mother do not share the same blood. The child's blood never passes through the mother and vice versa. This is how a mother is able to carry a child that is a different blood type to hers. A child only shares nutrients and oxygen while in the uterus. Blood typing comes purely from genetics.

Irela... Ireland69

Thank you Meg. however she does feed this child so to me that's close bond.

Ashley Lott

did she have to give to the other family? I mean if she carried it and birthed it, I would think she could keep it too, even if its not genetically hers.

laure... laurenemb

She made a courageous decision. I hope the families have stayed in touch.

nonmember avatar NoWay

I'm not one for suing, but in this case, I would sue the clinic and make sure they paid for all medical expenses and extra food, etc, and for "pain and suffering" ... think of the emotional pain this woman must have been facing. However, if it were me, I would have done the same ... carried and loved the baby to term, then handed him / her over to the rightful parents, who had obviously also wanted a child or they would not have had their embryos at the clinic. It makes me wonder, though ... were this woman's embryos implanted into someone else?

Sarah Ort

God I would like to say that I would do the samething, but I don't know if I could. 

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