Even the most uneventful pregnancy comes with a fair amount of challenges -- from the waiting and hoping to the worries to the physical discomforts. I know I experienced a rollercoaster of emotions during both of my pregnancies, and they were as "textbook" (for lack of a better word) as pregnancies come. So I can't even begin to wrap my head around what Carolyn Savage's 4th pregnancy must have been like. Author of the book "Inconceivable: A Mistake, the Baby We Couldn't Keep, and Our Decision to Deliver the Ultimate Gift," Savage and her husband thought they'd been through it all when it came to conception, pregnancy and childbirth: One "textbook," one preemie, 4 miscarriages, 3 IVFs and an 11 year stretch of infertility before the birth of their third child. Then came the fateful call from Savage's fertility specialist: Carolyn was pregnant again, "but there'd been a mistake and the wrong embryos had been transferred."
(Is your jaw on the floor?!)
"To characterize us as terrified is probably an understatement," writes Savage. Can you imagine?! I honestly can't. It's one thing to sign up for the position of surrogate -- to get pregnant with someone else's child knowing without question that at the end of those 9 months, you'll hand that baby over to his parents. But those are some unbelievably difficult cards to be dealt -- yet Savage somehow managed to play those cards. She writes:
Saying goodbye was messy and the aftermath was plain ugly. Fortunately, by trusting my maternal instincts and forgiving my missteps, I've managed, with some time, to land in a peaceful place. My fourth child is healthy and happy living with his rightful family, and my family is thriving. It was a leap of faith and our journey wasn't perfect but even though it was scary we managed to make it through.
A leap of faith, indeed! Not to mention an act of courage. As parents, we all struggle and mess up and learn and look back and shake our heads and wonder how we survived, but damn. I give this woman a lot if credit.
What would you do if you found out you were pregnant with somebody else's baby?
Image via mahalie/Flickr