Say, are you pregnant? Don't get mad at me, I'm not implying that you look pregnant. I'm just saying that if you are in fact pregnant, you're totally wasting a golden opportunity right now, unless you're the Buffalo woman who posted a Craigslist ad earlier this month offering her services to pee on a stick for anyone willing to fork over $25.
(GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY GET IT? OH HO HO HO HAR HAR HAAAAAAAA.)
Seriously, someone actually did this, and I'm so torn about this bizarre story. On the one hand, what diabolical, effed-up, fetish-driven, or boyfriend-deceiving reason would lead someone to purchase a positive pregnancy test from a total stranger? On the other hand -- five years ago I could have been making $25 every single time I peed? Holy shit, I should be a KAJILLIONAIRE right now.
The ad was posted earlier this month by a woman who claimed to have such high demand for her hormone-infused urine, she decided to turn those frequent bathroom trips into a lucrative side business. Here's what she posted:
Yes, you saw that right! I am selling positive pregnancy tests! Ever since I became pregnant, I have been asked numerous times for a positive test, so I decided to start charging for it! I will take the test the same day you want to pick it up! I dont care what you use it for, not my business! ;)
Here's a screenshot of her intriguing offer:
Actually, $25 is a pretty good deal considering eBay sells a "fake prank positive pregnancy test" for $42, but -- okay, yeah, why in the HELL would someone need a positive test stick? I guess the eBay seller has at least one scenario in mind:
-Go into the bathroom with the sealed box, or even open the box in front of your unsuspecting victim, then take the sealed individually wrapped tests into the bathroom with you & come out with a ghastly look on your face & a positive pregnancy test. Do it twice for effect!!!
-So darn amusing!!!
-Simply the funniest prank possible!!!!
Yeesh. As utterly evil practical jokes go, that one's on par with the faked winning lottery ticket. The only thing worse than using a fake pregnancy test as a prank? Using it to stir up relationship drama or trap a boyfriend.
Unless someone was buying these things to use in some sort of freaky modern art installation, it's hard for me to fathom a non-upsetting reason to buy someone's freshly-peed-on pregnancy test. Still, reluctant squicked-out kudos to this anonymous Craigslist seller for creatively tapping into her entrepreneurial spirit -- along with her overflowing bladder.
Can you think of any non-creepy reason someone would want to purchase a positive pregnancy test?
Image via dongkwan/Flickr; Quickmeme