There's no telling how many times I've used the phrase, "just when I thought I'd heard it all, blah, blah, blah." But this time I really mean it. I've officially heard it all. And you will have too after hearing about an expectant couple who has traveled all the way to Hawaii in the hopes of having a dolphin-assisted birth.
Yes, you heard that right. A dolphin-assisted birth. As in giving birth in or adjacent to a pool full of dolphins in the hopes of bonding and connecting with them.
(You seriously can't make this stuff up.)
Yep, Adam Barrington and his wife, Heather, have already set up shop in Pohoa, Hawaii where she will prepare to give birth surrounded by fish (yes, I know they're mammals, but they're still fish, for crying out loud). She's due in July and will spend the remaining months of her pregnancy hopping into the water to bond with the dolphin pod.
Apparently these two opted for a dolphin-assisted birth because they believe it will bring peace and tranquility to the experience. And oh yeah, even if Heather doesn't actually deliver her baby in the water, she still plans on doing pre- and post-birth swims to bond -- with the dolphins.
Um, maybe I'm really old-fashioned, but isn't it way more important to bond with your baby right after delivery as opposed to marine life? (Just sayin'.)
Sure, I get that the dolphins are cute and sweet and lovable and all -- but I'm sure Flipper and his pals won't mind if Heather takes a break from swimming to get to know her newborn a little.
And aside from who she should be bonding with -- what mom in her right mind is ready to take a dip right after pushing a human being out of her body? (Gross.)
I can think of about 1,000 other things I'd rather do after giving birth than have a dolphin encounter. Or at least swimming with fish was the last thing on my mind after I had my son. I had way better things to do at that point.
Like take a nap. A really long one. Considering I'd spent a good 24 hours in labor, sleep was definitely my top priority.
And after getting a few zzz's, a good meal was next on the list. I barely had the energy to feed myself let alone tread water, so in Heather's case, let's at least hope there's a snack bar in the general vicinity of that pool.
I also couldn't wait to take a shower after my son arrived, but I guess maybe she figures this is one of those instances where the pool counts as a bath? (Hope they drain and sterilize that thing in between laboring moms.)
Excuse me. I need to go douse myself in hand sanitizer now.
Would you ever consider a dolphin-assisted birth?
Image via tolomea/Flickr