Women Desperate to Have Babies Are Using Sperm Donors in, Uh, Interesting New Ways

OMG 16

“I’m not wasting any time chasing a relationship when I could be trying for a baby.” This is how one woman explained why she had pre-arranged sex with a total stranger. She met him on a dating site for sperm donors, and the only reason she slept with him was to try and conceive a child.

How far would you go to fulfill your dreams of parenthood? For some women, they're turning to what's being called "natural insemination." While traditional donor sites are intended to provide single women, lesbian, or infertile couples with sperm samples to be used in artificial insemination, the new trend is to use something like Co-Parents.net, which is described as a dating site for co-parenting and sperm donors.

What's natural insemination, you ask? Well, it's ... pretty much exactly what it sounds like.

The idea behind these sites is for women who are interested in getting pregnant to connect with a man who's willing to provide the sperm. And not by leaving it in a sterile cup, either, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

In "Sarah's" case (not her real name), she told the Mirror that she'd been using donor sites for two years. She explains,

I want to choose the ­characteristics that may get passed to my child. If anything is wrong with my baby health-wise I can go back and ask the donor for their genetic history but otherwise there will be no more contact with him. My child will never know him.

Before having sex with "Carl," she only knew a few basic details about him: he was single, had two children from a previous relationship, was healthy, and had a master's degree. Of course, there was no way for her to prove any of this, but after a introductory dinner, she decided to follow through with her plan:

Carl said I could change my mind but I didn’t want to as I was ovulating. (We went back to my house, and) I stood in the kitchen and offered a drink but we both knew why we were there. It felt staged and undressing was very unsexy. We used the spare room because it felt less personal although we lay and cuddled afterwards. I shed a tear then because I was moved by the prospect of conceiving.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, she said things were a little awkward afterwards:

I felt like a man must feel when a prostitute leaves.

Sarah did get pregnant, but unfortunately miscarried before 12 weeks. She plans to keep using the donor sites until her dream of motherhood comes true.

The Mirror researched some of the posts on donor sites, and found that both women and men were pretty direct about what they wanted:

I’m looking for an NI donor for next week -- the 14th day of my cycle.

Healthy, disease free, 6ft 2in, blond, blue-eyed, 32-year-old professional. Can help with natural insemination only. No artificial insemination requests.

Still, the entire practice raises lots of questions. What about the risks of unprotected sex? Or future claims regarding the children? Not to mention the skeevy responses the Mirror's author received when she set up a dummy account. For instance, one man suggested she wear a dress and nice underwear to "increase his sperm count," and said,

Nature intended us to reproduce with intercourse. During your fertile period, it’s best if we do it a few times so your body gets used to my sperm.

It's definitely hard for me to imagine choosing this option. I can see doing artificial insemination if my options were otherwise limited, but being physically intimate with a stranger? No.

But I'm also not in the same position some of these women are. When your biological clock is ticking, sperm banks may be too expensive, and you believe regular intercourse has the best chance of producing the outcome you've been praying for, you probably become a lot more open minded. Clearly these women are desperate for a baby, and I hope they find their way to motherhood -- however untraditional their path may be.

What do you think of donor "dating" sites and natural insemination? Would you ever consider this?

Image via Co-Parents.net

trying to conceive


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LostS... LostSoul88

Sounds almost like prostitution but instead of the man giving then woman money he gives her    sperm/a baby...

redK8... redK8blueSt8

I think this is one of the most selfish disgusting "parenting" choices ever! It's all about the woman and what she wants, and not at all about the child and what it is entitled to: a dad! Sure, reality is cruel and even with the best intentions kids can end up not havinga dad, but to intentionally go into it denying the child a father is despicable. It might not matter to the woman, but it sure as hell matters to a kid. The father, for good or evil with his presence or through his absence, is the #1 influence affecting a persons entire life.

nonmember avatar Lilac

This makes me laugh. Unless there is an iron clad, legally binding contract both parties sign there is nothing to keep a woman from suing the man she slept with for child support once she is pregnant. After all she was not impregnated in a lab with donated sperm but in her bed with a real man pumping away.

alway... alwayscurious

I must agree with redblue from above. Selfishness is rampant in our society today. So sad.

mamat... mamatreat

So gay couples are not good parents and are selfish because the child doesn't have a dad/mom combo? Is it selfish that a woman leaves and takes their child(ren) away from an abusive man? Grow up and move into the 21st century! The only thing a child needs is love and a good support system. If these women can provide that for them, who are you to say its wrong? 

Caera Caera

Yes mamatreat. They are.

We're supposed to be created with a mother and a father. Neither one is superfluous. Gay couples will never be "good" parents because they are fundamentally denying the child something he or she is SUPPOSED to have - a parent of the opposite sex.

mamat... mamatreat

Caera, I sure hope God doesn't punish you for your intolerance. I see you sidestepped my comment about abusive spouses. I suppose I'm a bad parent for divorcing my husband. How do you know these women wont marry down the road? Does it matter if a child is raised by a step parent as opposed to a biological one? Get a grip- you can't have "good christian morals" and use it as an excuse to judge others. Go read your bible and get back to me on exactly how many sins you've committed today alone. Cause I know of at least one- "Judge not lest ye be judged."

nonmember avatar Lila1979

Thank you Mamatreat! It still amazes me how, in the 21st Century, people still just don't get that it is the love that is provided. It doesn't matter who it comes from, as long as it is unconditional.

antfa... antfarmer101

I just love all the psuedo-Christians who think they have all the answers to life. You guys are my heros (insert eyeroll here)

As for the article, every person is free to make their own choices, of course, but this kinda skeeves me out. You know those guys are not in it to make some woman happy by providing her with a baby. All they see is the sex... Still, I guess it's a win/win lol. I can honestly say I would never do it, though

Chris... Chrissy9479

I would be afraid of catching some STD's or AIDS or something!! seriously, just no.... lol 

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