One of the most irritating things that women with children say to women who don't want children is, "But you'd make such a good mother!" People usually say this to connote that you seem like a responsible person -- or at least you haven't been in jail lately -- who seems like you like kids. But it's kind of like saying to someone, "But you have such a good body, you should live on the beach so you can show it off!" Having a good body has little to do with wanting to be a beach bum, just like being good with kids can have little to do with wanting to be a mom. But that probably won't stop legions of friends and fans of couple Ellen DeGeneres and her wife Portia de Rossi from saying this irritating phrase since they have declared that they are never having children.
Portia told Out magazine that she and her wife of five years, Ellen, have no plans on having children, which they could do in several ways -- either by adopting, or having a sperm donor, or an egg donor, or a surrogate. But the pitter-patter of little future talk show hosts doesn't interest them in the slightest. Says Portia:
There comes some pressure in your mid-30s, and you think, Am I going to have kids so I don’t miss out on something that other people really seem to love? Or is it that I really genuinely want to do this with my whole heart? I didn't feel that my response was 'yes' to the latter. You have to really want to have kids, and neither of us did. So it's just going to be me and Ellen and no babies.
It's refreshing that Portia baldly states that she and Ellen don't want kids. Especially since Ellen is so damn cute and funny with the kids on her show. Portia didn't try to gloss it over by saying something like, "Oh, perhaps we will someday ..." or "We're both just so busy."
Nope, she told the truth, which is that she didn't want to have them unless both of them could say they really REALLY wanted them, and they couldn't say that. Many of us wouldn't be here if our parents held the bar as high as really REALLY wanting all their children -- but hey, that's no big deal. World is overpopulated anyway.
So kudos to Ellen and Portia for being honest by admitting they don't want kids. Although they'd make such great -- I won't say it!
Do you think women who would make great moms should have kids?
Image via Alan Light/Flickr