6 Absolute Best Ways to Prep For Parenthood

LOL 13

LexMy husband and I were out with another couple the other night who are thinking about having kids. They asked us how we prepared to be parents. We both started laughing. Nothing can totally prepare you for that game changer, but there are certain things  you can do now so that bringing home baby is not such a shock to the system. Check out the 6 things all parents-to-be need to do to prep for parenthood.

1. Buy a dog. One of the things we did during our naïve, childless days was to get a dog. We thought – that’s the perfect lead in to parenthood. While I now admit tha taking care of 10 dogs is probably easier than one infant, being a pet owner did help me in many ways. I had never been responsible for anything else before. It also helped get over my queasiness with poop. (Though really messy diapers still make me wretch.)
2. Set your alarm to go off every hour on the hour. All new parents hear about the sleepless nights, but you can’t really understand that very special kind of torture until you’ve lived it. I wasn’t even lucky to get a full hour of sleep in between cries. When my son came home, he was so colicky I got just 20 minutes of peace at a time.
3. Spend time with other people's kids. I am not talking about babysitting for a few hours. I mean volunteer to watch a friend's or relative's kid for an entire weekend without the parents around. That first tantrum will be a real eye-opener.
4. For one week, make sure to spill something on your outfit right before you have to leave the house. If you really want an authentic experience, fill a bottle full of formula and sprinkle it on a sleeve or collar. Or dribbling a spoonful of pea soup on your shirt can nicely mimic throw-up. Then leave the house. Once the kids come, it's doubtful you will have time to change anyway.
5. Buy a used car. You may love that brand new Mercedes like a child, but just wait until your own little one gets his hands on it. It will be plastered with finger prints, toys, errant Cheerios, and milk/juice splashes. Why not just invest in something that won't make you cry when it's turned into a disaster area.
6. Stop hanging out with your friends right now. The first few months after the baby comes, you will be too tired anyway. Afterwork drinks - forget about it. You have to rush home to relieve the nanny. For those times you are intent on making big plans to see a concert or go out to a fancy dinner, make sure you factor in the $50 to $100 bucks you are going to spend on a sitter.

More from The Stir: 10 Snarky Responses to Unwanted Parenting Advice

What other advice do you have for prepping for parenthood?
 

Image via Ericka Souter

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t0vanal t0vanal

I am disgusted that your first suggestion is to "get a dog."  A dog is not some throw away item that is there just to get you ready for parenting. A dog is a huge decision that will affect your life for 12 to 20 years.  You sound immature and selfish with a suggestion like that, and reckless "advice" like that leads to dogs at the humane society.  

MyToe MyToe

t0vanal--initially, that was my reaction to this piece as well, but once I read the rest...pretty sure this was tongue-in-cheek.  Also, I don't know if she really meant DOG, but rather SOMETHING that will rely solely on you for survival.  That could even be a plant.

3Dani75 3Dani75

I like the idea of taking care of other peoples children as a great experience & your right (it can't just be for a few hours) I have 3 children of my own but have been taking care of children since I was 12 years old (I'm the oldest of 5 plus I took care of every kid in my small town) Great experience! Nothing else can compare to having a child of your own but this is closer than anything else!!!

nonmember avatar jillymac

I want to know who spends 50 to 100 bucks on a babysitter for a night out??? And if you do, im available most weekends!!!lol

Reen1 Reen1

t0vanal: Good god get over yourself. I am a dog lover and a dog owner for life, and the article was clearly meant in jest.... And I have a feeling you know what she meant, but you just want to bitch about something.. Hmmm, could this be an insight into the rest of your life? Take a chill pill..

#4 is hilarious. I love it LoL

tuffy... tuffymama

Cute one, Ericka. And I get what you meant about the dog. I don't know how it is in big metropolitan areas, but down here, going in on a dog together is a good sign that a couple is ready to marry and start a family, whether they realize it or not. LOL. Even my brother and SIL did it, and DH out me on the 911 vet contact list for his dogs when we were dating. Trust me when I tell you that was a big sign. And this list would give a good idea of what to expect as a parent. Just get your MIL so drunk on tequila she turns mean and critical of you, then tell your own mother she was right about EVERYTHING when you were a teenager, and I'd say you're all set.

OneTo... OneToughMami

I am pretty sure a dog is going to prepare you to clean up vomit, feces, and urine. Seriously, I have two and I cleaned up more grossness from them than from my daughter. So I agree buy a dog then have kids, your stomach will be prepared lol

FaithNco FaithNco

Great suggestions. Disregard negative comments of people with limited experiences.

Some comments suggest that some viewers are looking for something to complain about. They need some self esteem.

FaithNco FaithNco

Adorable baby

88Mwifey 88Mwifey

kinda sad this wasn't an actual 'how to prepare' article. it was funny though! sadly...all these things apply to me and i'm still not sure i'm ready! :)

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