Real quick, if you needed pregnancy advice, which celeb mom would you go to? If you said Snooki, and you happen to be Kim Kardashian, this is perfect! The Jersey Shore star just released -- via video, no less -- awesome labor and delivery tips for Kim for when it's go time.
Is the advice asinine? Of course it is! But hey, it's Snooki. This is meant to be lighthearted and fun, not, like, really real ... right?
Snook's advice is for how to look glam while you're waiting to push a human being out of your vagina -- and for while you're pushing a human being out of your vagina. Among her tips are these treasures: Always have a pair of extra eyelashes in your purse in case you're out when your water breaks; if your face isn't made up when you go into labor, don't worry -- you have plenty of time to do it while you're dilating (but choose your color palette wisely, as hospital lighting can be a real drag); and "make sure you stay away from the big hoop earrings, because they can get caught in your extensions. But you can wear some nice diamond studs so you look really cute in your selfies."
Here, check out Snooki's video while it's free. I hear in a few weeks, the only way it's going to be available is as a supplement when you purchase HypnoBirthing: A Natural Approach to Safe, Easier, More Comfortable Birthing.
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While I'm sure Kim will want to look gorg during her delivery, I guarantee she won't care about her appearance nearly as much as she thinks she will. She's going to be in pain! So much pain!
For some reason, while I was pregnant, I kept thinking I was going to want to take a shower after giving birth. I asked my doula about it, and I had a little bag of shampoo and soap in my hospital bag, ready to go. But literally, the last thing on earth I thought about after having a baby was showering. I didn't care what I looked like. I just wanted to spend time with my daughter. And, you know, it was hard to walk around with those 20 industrial-sized pads.
So, while I'm sure Snooki is coming from a good place, not so sure Kim is going to heed this advice -- she's going to have other things on her mind while in labor. And if anyone thinks Kim does her own makeup, they're crazy.
Did you wear makeup to give birth?