New Website Hooks Up People Who Want to Have Kids Together, But Date Other People

Say What!? 5

family

This takes the notion of the modern family to a whole new level. A website will partner women and men who both want children, but not a romantic relationship with one another. Not much shocks me in this day and age, but this took me by surprise. That's not to say I think you should be married before having kids. That's a ridiculously outdated perception of what it takes to raise a child. In fact, there is no one definition of the perfect family anymore. However, doesn't this loveless, match-making service make parenthood -- which any parent will tell you is incredibly hard -- even more complicated.

FamilybyDesign.com promotes itself as a great way to help single people build their dream families. They even refer to a promise many people make with their guy BFF when young -- if we are not married with kids by 30, we should have a kid together.

While I empathize with the desperate desire to start a family, this just seems like a risky idea. The parent-parent relationship is one of the most emotionally charged ones you can have. Anger, resentment, exhaustion are all par for the course. You will argue, fume, complain and more. How can you be sure this person is equally committed and won't cut and run when it gets tough -- and it will get tough. Though some people insists this can work. David Arrick and Heidi Sadowsky, friends for 20 years, were both featured on Today because of their decision to co-parent without being involved. I just have to wonder, what if one of them eventually develops romantic feelings for the other.

Having a baby together can uncover feelings you didn't realize were there. Finding yourself attracted to the father of your kid could happen, especially if he is attentive, supportive, caring, kind, and loving. Aren't those all the characteristics you would look for in a boyfriend or husband anyway? Then what happens if those new-found romantic feelings are not reciprocated? There was even a movie about this very thing. Friends with Kids depicted the story of best friends who wanted a baby, but neither of which were in a serious relationship. Everything was fine until one of them fell for the other. Like I said, complicated. With these "parenting partneships" could result in a lot of hurt and disappointment. And if things go badly, the person most likely to suffer most in the end is the child.

What to you think of the "parenting partnership" match making servives?
 
 
Image via Glyn Lowe Photoworks/Flickr

motherhood, fathers, pregnant sex & relationships

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craft... craftycatVT

Having a child with someone you've known for 20 years is a lot different than doing it with someone you've just met. I'd worry about child predators doing this, maybe even with more than one woman, as a way to gain access to kids. We know some men aren't picky about abusing their own blood.

There are so many things that could happen here and the least of my worries would be a case of unrequited love.

Also, if you're not too concerned with doing things the "traditional" way, why not look into adoption or become a foster parent? It seems like that might make a much better "match."

Blues... Blueshark77

I think it can work. Look at how many couple start off in the traditional way only to end up in an acrimonious divorce. 

artis... artistmom27

I think this would definitely work. After I am finished transitioning into my new life. I intend to do this


 

nonmember avatar rob1791

Yes but some people know they are lousy in relationships, abut they will make great parents, and these kids actually have a more stable personal life. They even are able to have more stable relationships.
For me the day I die, I just want to know that there is one good thing I did with my life.
That is all. Is it really so bad to want to have a child and not be in a relationship, where it will be miserable to be in.
Some men just want to be a Dad, which is not the same as being the father.
I had a mother, and a father, but never had a Mom or a Dad.

nonmember avatar rob1791

I believe this is better for some people, but not for everyone.
There is people out there who are lousy at being in a relationship, but they are awesome mom and dads, I grew up having a mother, and father, but never had a mom or dad. My mother and father physically, psychologically, and emotionally abused me, and this ended up me being sexually abused. My mother and father never should have been allowed to be have children, they were never a mom and dad, for that is what I needed.
Different people that has been in my life, have told me that I would make a great dad, and every time I heard this it hurt because I knew there is no way I will never have a decent person in my life that I could trust to raise my child if something happened to me. It is not what you say, but what you do.
I can see why people would do this, I would do this.
If the child knows it is loved, then the child will be fine.
I respect people who would do this at least they are more honest than most.

nonmember avatar Stephan

craftycatVT, I understand you, but for some people, like me who really want to have kids but can't find the right girl for that, it's really hard. Plus I don;t want kids just to want kids, I want to find that woman with who I would get along well and maybe fall in love with her, but I want to be sure to not wast my time dating someone who doesn't want kids or is not sure about it. So such website would be great since people coming to this website would be people who really want kids as 1 of their main goal. Also as a single man you can't go adopt a kid and I don;t want a kid just to want a kid, I want the relationship with the future mother too.

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