9 Ways You KNOW You're Done Having Babies

Mom Moment 191

babyEarlier this week Allison Tate wrote a lovely piece that ran on the Huffington Post titled "The Change of Life." In it she talked about how she was getting ready to sign a permission slip for her husband's vasectomy, and how after four kids she knew their family was complete, but she still really yearned in some ways for more children. She couldn't fathom that the baby-making part of her life was really going to be over.

I know a lot of people related to it, because it can be hard to make the decision not to have any more children. Some parents debate it for years, and worry that they may someday regret it if they don't have just one more child. I, however, am not one of them. Not even close.

I have two children --  a 9-year-old son, and a daughter who just turned 4 yesterday -- and I'm as done having children as I can possibly be. I have no hint, no smidgen, no smudge of desire to have another one. EVER. It's not because I don't like being a mother; I adore motherhood and my children. But when you're done, you're just done. Here are nine ways you KNOW you're done having children.

1. When someone tells you she's pregnant you have to remember to offer congratulations instead of condolences. (It's a wonderful thing for most people!)

2. You start giving away all of your favorite baby clothes that you've saved "just in case", and you don't shed one tear.

3. When you see a pregnant woman you involuntarily wince imaging going through it all over again.

4. You use that perfect baby name you've been saving on a dog.

5. When people ask if you/when you are going to have more children you have to remind yourself not to recoil in horror.

6. When your children talk about wanting a baby sister or brother, you confuse them with talk of pigs flying.

7. The ones you already have drive you completely insane, and you just can't take anymore.

8. You've come to enjoy sleep, and aren't about to give it up again.

9. You just know. It seems ambiguous, but when you really are done, you just know.

How do you/will you know you're done having babies?


Image via paparutzi/Flickr


baby prep, emotions


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That's MrsCooper ToYou

i gave away all of my last childs old belongings and started looking at houses to fit what we have in our family. a coworker always tried to tell me ima have a 3rd and i would stop short of cursing him out. however, i'm 13 weeks pregnant with #3 and gotta start all over. the good thing is #1 is in a toddler bed and #2 is in a crib so i'm going to pass down beds and buy #1 a twin and also i still have my stroller/car seat combo and my aunt (whose kids are younger than mine) is giving me her double stroller.

John Basden

My pregnancy with my youngest was very difficult. I was blessed to have a healthy baby born despite all the problems he had in the womb. Knowing it can get worse with each child my hubby and I both agreed we had enough.

Rose Law

yes PRIMA487 the wife has to sign and give permission and guess what when I got my tubes tied almost 18 years ago my husband had to give his permission and sign the paper also .. fair is fair if the man get s to say yes or no on if i can have more kids then the woman gets to say if he can have more kids or not :)

armyw... armywife009

Haha, love this!

We just knew. We have two beautiful daughters and we want to spoil them and only them. I don't want to add anymore to the bunch. LOL

nonmember avatar Samantha

I have one 2 yr old daughter, and i want another baby. At least one. Sometimes i wonder if thats right for me or not though. Taking care of my daughter as an infant was easy enough. But now that shes 2, and more perceptive & intelligent than she should be, i have so many other things i have to worry about now. The least of it being my temper and capacity for patience. The older she gets, the less i know what im doing. I figure, if i cant even get my own mind straight, how am i supposed to teach her all the right things? I absolutely love being a mother, and would love to give her a sibling, but its something im going to have to be patient for. That and this time i want to do this the right way. Have a steady relationship, 2 active parents, my finances in order. With my first it was rape, a dead beat father, and 180ing my entire life & mindset. My partner is likely to give me twins.. So ill probably be done after that.

Mariam Zainati Sung

My body have been going through some sorts of weird, kind of X-files experience wanting to have another child. while my brain, body,freedom and all those sweet things that comes in between of not having toddles anymore says HELL TO THE NO. I got 2 lovely and lets not mention lively teens ( soon 15 and 18) so why on earth do I want to put myself through that again ~shivers~. I think after reading this I can honestly say NO way this old body of mine wants to experience that again. So glad you reminded me how important number 8 and 9 is to me right now....lol

nonmember avatar Michelle

I had my tubes blocked after our third child was born. I knew in my mind that we were done, (3 daughters, now aged 11. 8, and almost 3). I didn't know with my heart until I was babysitting a cousin's baby, (baby's about a year old), and I had a stop to make. The thought of having to care of two little ones under the age of four finally convinced me, heart and mind, that I was done!! And there's my age to consider, having to inject medication twice a day because of a medical condition - risk of miscarriage (I'd had losses at 20 and 13 weeks), - I just couldn't go through that again. What gets me is that when we told people that we were done, they'd ask if we were going to try for a boy. (My last child at this point was just months old), and I said, "no, we're done." We're happy with our three healthy girls, thank you very much! Though I miss the early days with my girls, I don't want any more... I'm good.

nonmember avatar Momofseven

I agree with Ann Marie. We have 7 beautiful children all grown up now and I was sad when I realized my body was finished giving us children. We married later in life and welcomed every single one as a gift from our Loving Father in Heaven. What a privilege to be an instrument in the Hands of God to create new human beings with an eternal soul. We feel truly blessed and are now enjoying the grandchildren and the friendship of our children who are all beautiful adults.

Simone Green

I'm 45 have 3 kids (17, 7, 4) and if I had a husband to go with it I would totally have another one!

nonmember avatar Michelle

Me again - We had thought we were done. (In 2007), but we found out we were pregnant in June, but I lost the baby in October at 5 mos./20 weeks. Another pregnancy in January, lost baby in March at 13 weeks. I didn't want to end my baby days with losses, so when I found out I was pregnant again in June 2009, (had to inject medication because of the risk of pregnancy loss), I'm so glad I didn't quit, and I got to end my baby days with a healthy baby. (She needed oxygen at birth, but she's fine now; she'll be 3 in March). But 3's enough for me.

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