9 Ways You KNOW You're Done Having Babies

Mom Moment 191

babyEarlier this week Allison Tate wrote a lovely piece that ran on the Huffington Post titled "The Change of Life." In it she talked about how she was getting ready to sign a permission slip for her husband's vasectomy, and how after four kids she knew their family was complete, but she still really yearned in some ways for more children. She couldn't fathom that the baby-making part of her life was really going to be over.

I know a lot of people related to it, because it can be hard to make the decision not to have any more children. Some parents debate it for years, and worry that they may someday regret it if they don't have just one more child. I, however, am not one of them. Not even close.

I have two children --  a 9-year-old son, and a daughter who just turned 4 yesterday -- and I'm as done having children as I can possibly be. I have no hint, no smidgen, no smudge of desire to have another one. EVER. It's not because I don't like being a mother; I adore motherhood and my children. But when you're done, you're just done. Here are nine ways you KNOW you're done having children.

1. When someone tells you she's pregnant you have to remember to offer congratulations instead of condolences. (It's a wonderful thing for most people!)

2. You start giving away all of your favorite baby clothes that you've saved "just in case", and you don't shed one tear.

3. When you see a pregnant woman you involuntarily wince imaging going through it all over again.

4. You use that perfect baby name you've been saving on a dog.

5. When people ask if you/when you are going to have more children you have to remind yourself not to recoil in horror.

6. When your children talk about wanting a baby sister or brother, you confuse them with talk of pigs flying.

7. The ones you already have drive you completely insane, and you just can't take anymore.

8. You've come to enjoy sleep, and aren't about to give it up again.

9. You just know. It seems ambiguous, but when you really are done, you just know.

How do you/will you know you're done having babies?


Image via paparutzi/Flickr


baby prep, emotions


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momma... mommabearof003

Well my doctor told me I had to be done. I was and still want another baby but im 35 and I had 3 preemies. 32,35 and 25 weeks.So the decision was made for me. I really want another boy so my son has somebody close to his age to play with. My girls are very close in age 11 months apart and are very close and i wish I could have that for my son.


nonmember avatar Mandi

I have 2 girls - 4 years old and 9 months old. My husband is positive that he is done having children, and me, well I know I don't want another RIGHT away, but I am struggling with weather I really am done having children or not. On one hand I think I would be perfectly happy with the 2 I have but then on the other hand I still have the desire to go through the whole pregnancy and baby thing again, eventually - and maybe try for a boy.
So, I really don't think it is that easy for everybody....I don't think I will ever fit some of the things on this list, well ok maybe if I had like 5 kids, then I might. LOL

Anne-Marie Overton

SO not done here! We have 7 and can't for one more!

Daniella Ivette Mendoza

Eh...I identify with plenty of those, and I don't even have kids! Hehehe...

Crystal Foose

I was so hoping this article was going to give me solace and be a list of things that fit perfectly for me.  I am done with my 6 and from a logic and reasoning stand point I know it is a good choice, but NONE of those things on the list apply to me and i still bawl every time i get rid of clothes!  I take that back.  Number 8 is it.  I haven't slept in 14 years and I am enjoying that even though it isn't consistent with a 15 months old.  I'm holding on to #8!

nonmember avatar Steve

My wife and i have 6 . . Having this very debate right. We both want another but we have grown accustomed to extra sleep, extra money and a bearable amount of stress. As of now, we are not trying but we are not not trying. Leaving this one in the Big Guy's capable hands. If we do have another, my wife already said she is getting fixed . . . We shall see

nonmember avatar Niki

I'm on the same page with Mandi. I have 2 boys, 6 in July and 3 in April. I don't have siblings (my mom wanted 3 but after me she just couldn't get pregnant again) so I always wanted to have at least 2 but after having 2 boys I still would try one more and see if we could have a girl. :)
The financial problem always hits in but if you are not too eager to get everything and are ok with second-hand clothes etc and you really want it, I think it's manageable.
Hardest part for me is that our family lives in Europe and it costs thousands of dollars to visit them from Canada. It's already hard to save up with 2 kids, I don't know what we would do with 3 so that's something I might have to give up for a while and sacrifice it. Our parents can come to visit but we still have grandparents who can't fly anymore. But in 20-30 years it's gonna be your children being around you, then your grandchildren and not your grandparents. Not easy.
But if we wouldn't have this problem, I don't think we would be done yet.

Witch... Witchymom434

I have 2 great boys and although a lot of the ones above ring true right now, everytime someone asks me if I'm going to try for a girl and when, I tend to say not for another few years.... My boys are 2 1/2 years apart, I want some distance this time just for the sake of not having 3 kids in college at once...

1smar... 1smartcookie

Oh yeah. Sure. I KNEW I was done after two kids. Then I got divorced and remarried and got a big "surprise."

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