9 Ways You KNOW You're Done Having Babies

Mom Moment 191

babyEarlier this week Allison Tate wrote a lovely piece that ran on the Huffington Post titled "The Change of Life." In it she talked about how she was getting ready to sign a permission slip for her husband's vasectomy, and how after four kids she knew their family was complete, but she still really yearned in some ways for more children. She couldn't fathom that the baby-making part of her life was really going to be over.

I know a lot of people related to it, because it can be hard to make the decision not to have any more children. Some parents debate it for years, and worry that they may someday regret it if they don't have just one more child. I, however, am not one of them. Not even close.

I have two children --  a 9-year-old son, and a daughter who just turned 4 yesterday -- and I'm as done having children as I can possibly be. I have no hint, no smidgen, no smudge of desire to have another one. EVER. It's not because I don't like being a mother; I adore motherhood and my children. But when you're done, you're just done. Here are nine ways you KNOW you're done having children.

1. When someone tells you she's pregnant you have to remember to offer congratulations instead of condolences. (It's a wonderful thing for most people!)

2. You start giving away all of your favorite baby clothes that you've saved "just in case", and you don't shed one tear.

3. When you see a pregnant woman you involuntarily wince imaging going through it all over again.

4. You use that perfect baby name you've been saving on a dog.

5. When people ask if you/when you are going to have more children you have to remind yourself not to recoil in horror.

6. When your children talk about wanting a baby sister or brother, you confuse them with talk of pigs flying.

7. The ones you already have drive you completely insane, and you just can't take anymore.

8. You've come to enjoy sleep, and aren't about to give it up again.

9. You just know. It seems ambiguous, but when you really are done, you just know.

How do you/will you know you're done having babies?


Image via paparutzi/Flickr


baby prep, emotions


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stace... stacey541

I would love 1 more but we are done! Mine are 3 and 4 and every time I get that urge that 1 more would be wonderful, I write out the daycare check and know there is no possible way we could afford another :-(

jalaz77 jalaz77

I knew when our 3rd hit that 2-3 yr stage. Theeeeen unexpectedly got pregs. I thought I wanted a 4th when our 3rd was a baby because for me, babies are easy...then he hit 2. We are excited but nervous cause this pregnancy has been so tiresome with a 7, 5 and 2.5 yr old, potty training, sending kids to a new room so we have room for this one....just busy. It will be worth it in the end. He is bouncing in my belly now reminding that it will be fine. : )

Elise48 Elise48

When someone tells you she's pregnant you have to remember to offer congratulations instead of condolences. (It's a wonderful thing for most people!)

Ha! Condolences have always been my first reaction. I have to pause to make sure I say the right thing.

gridi... gridironsmom

#7 & #5. I love my almost five yr old son and three and a half yr old daughter but they are very active and my brain and body are done. Lol

rhps2000 rhps2000

I have my three and knew I didn't want more when I found myself shunning maternity clothes (wouldn't need them again) and hiding my belly in pics (felt too old at 39). :S

holly... hollykins

I never had any say over my body.  Took 7 years to have my one, and now he's 9 1/2.  Guess is just wan't in the cards, but I never let my son know it made me sad.  I tell him "I had you, and I got exactly what I wanted, so I stopped!"

Laura... LauraRies

My husband and I always knew we wanted two children, so after my son was born 12 years ago I also simultaneously had my tubes tied. Did not even give it a moment's thought. I knew our family was complete!

Emmylou Collins

I have a blended family of eight children. I've birthed 4; the youngest is almost 1 and they age to two 14 year olds. I can't handle any more, physically, mentally and financially! :)

nonmember avatar Keri

my sister told me once she was done had her tubes clampped and every thing, 9 years later she found the love of her life got married got her tubes unclamped and had identical twin girls after saying she was done she says now shes done with two boys and two girls i'm just waiting to see if she means it lol i want one more baby and then i'll be done i have two girls and one boy i want to try for at least one more boy if its a girl thats fine i'll take what i get

Vikki Holliday

These are very funny... Though they don't apply to me yet, I'm sure they will. I have one son, age 12 (in a month), and I am about to get remarried. Though I have thought I only want one more, but my future husband wants a boy and I want a girl, so either way, I think we're going to end up having two more, so I'll have three total!! Planning will be the key though because I'm already 32, will be almost 34 when we get married and then the clock is ticking after that! I do NOT want to be 40 and pregnant!! Just don't think I could have that much energy, time and patience to do it at that age, 20 years after I had my first one! I loved being pregnant and I love my son, but really have debated over the years mainly because of my age... (I'm not knocking anyone who has children later in life; as long as you have the energy and still want to, whatever floats your boat. I just told my bf that I'm not going to be going "over the hill" with an infant! lol)

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