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5 Weird & Uncomfortable Pregnancy Accessories

by Linda Sharps on November 16, 2012 at 11:03 AM

I think the strangest accessory I sported during my pregnancies was a hair elastic looped around my jeans buttonhole to let my pants gap out and accommodate that awkward definitely-bigger-but-not-yet-ready-for-maternity-clothes stage. A sneakily-placed ponytail holder is nothing compared to the oddball things you see on pregnant women these days, though, thanks to the ever-growing market for maternity gadgets and accessories.

There are all sorts of doohickeys and garments available now, and while some of them sound pretty useful (like these "Pocket Dots" that keep belly bands in place), some are just ... inexplicable.

Here's a just-for-fun roundup of some of the weirdest, most uncomfortable-sounding, tinfoil-hat-worthy maternity accessories I've come across.

 

 


Nuvo Group
With this belt composed of four belly-firing speakers, a built-in iPod pocket, 3.5mm jack, and volume-regulating abilities, your fetus can enjoy the soothing sounds of John Mayer all day long, because your body is, like, totally a wonderland right now. Don't forget, pumping in prenatal music is PROVEN to result in "advanced intelligence, coordination, and learning abilities," so basically if you don't do this, you're an asshole.

 

Amazon

However, I certainly hope you weren't thinking of using that wireless iPod without your anti-radiation Mommy Belt.



Baby Is a Star
Hmmm. You know, I'm just not buying the claim that something that simultaneously drags your bra down and your pants up is "completely comfortable to wear."




Firm Int'l
Pregnancy is no time for just letting it all hang out, young lady. You rein in that fertile flesh and you do it now before your husband realizes what a slovenly heifer you've become.




2ols.com
Uh ... wow. Maybe this could be paired with those maternity suspenders for the ultimate wedgie experience?


Would you try any of these maternity accessories? (Or have you already tried them?)

 

Filed Under: maternity clothes

Comments

11
  • Emily...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Emily Recchia

    November 16, 2012 at 11:59 AM

    Actually, if I'd seen those suspenders earlier (I'm giving birth next week) I would have bought them. I have had sooo much trouble keeping my pants up - makers of maternity pants assume you have a booty and hips to go with the belly...and I don't. So I constantly have to hike the pants back up. And most don't have belt loops, so that's out. I did buy a pair of regular suspenders, but they were such a hassle to get off and on when I had to pee, that I only wore them a few times.


  • MomLi...
    --

    MomLily67

    November 16, 2012 at 1:13 PM

    The mommy belt anfd the big panties are great!!! not the thong..... the other stuff is just weird to me!! but hey, so is not wearing any type of maternity wear as so many ladies, specially the younger ones do. I've seen them squeezed like ssaussages into skinny jeans and those imposibbly narrow Aero t-shirts.


  • curly...
    --

    curlygirl31

    November 16, 2012 at 1:17 PM
    The undies that go way too high over the baby are no good because i remember any time i had something tight over my stomach when i was pregnant my baby would go crazy and push and kick on any tight elastic. It was really uncomfortable.undies under the belly are best.
  • UgtaB...
    --

    UgtaBkdnMe

    November 16, 2012 at 2:04 PM

    I wear a support girdle type thing (made by spanx) daily. It feels so good to have some support.


  • Jenna...
    --

    JennaPBug

    November 16, 2012 at 4:41 PM

    hahaha..never. well maybe that anti radiation belt....


  • Alici...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Alicia Kiner

    November 17, 2012 at 9:59 AM
    Ever see Little Giants, and the kid wrapped in bubble wrap?? That whole anti-radiation belt makes me think of that kid LOL
  • Wifey...
    --

    WifeyKish

    November 17, 2012 at 9:59 AM

    actually I wouldn't mind some black pregnancy spanx that is loose in the frot and tighter in the back lol. 


  • Jelly...
    -- Nonmember comment from

    JellyBeanz

    November 17, 2012 at 2:16 PM
    The shapewear/support bra and panty set looks great to me... I'd have loved that... I'd always been very slender until I got PG and the extra flesh and extra-extra large b00bs were really uncomfortable for me. It seemed like everything creased and pinched and squished in all the wrong places, and I only put on 35#. I'm back to my pre-PG weight, but have found I like the way shapewear smoothes and firms my "jigglier" bits LoL
  • Mezzo...
    --

    MezzoDragon

    November 17, 2012 at 7:42 PM

    I'd have totally used the suspenders.  Having a little rib cage and big cup size means finding a decent bra on any day is difficult.  Pregnancy boobs only made it worse LOL  My biggest problem with the ones I could afford was that because the band was too big, they would ride up in the back.  Problem solved!


  • MamaD...
    --

    MamaDV1012

    November 19, 2012 at 3:23 PM

    Yeah the girdle is the only thing that makes any sense that I almost bought during my second pregnancy.  I had such horrible hip pain, the only suggestion I found was to use a girdle like that to support your belly and get some of the pressure off of the hips.  Only thing missing are the prices for these hideous pregnancy products. 


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