As if the symptoms of pregnancy aren’t bad enough, when you are expecting, everyone’s mission becomes to knock you down. Not literally, of course, because that would be attempted manslaughter, but knock you down nonetheless, they will try.

They will try by insulting your appearance, by questioning your choice of lunch-meat, and by noting just how much weight you have gained.

You have two options in responding: Stand there, gaping, racking your brain for an appropriate response, but instead just walking away and sticking a doughnut in your mouth, OR completely losing it on them. Delicious as the doughnut may be, these people are deserving of a pregnant woman's wrath, and YOU should be the one to give it to them.

They have it coming if they:

1. Argue with you over your due date.

2. Criticize your intended baby name.

3. Ask if you are carrying twins or triplets, and you aren't.

4. Comment on what you are eating.

5. Compare their pregnancy to yours.

6. Touch your belly.

7. Compare you to a circus or farm animal. It happens -- somebody actually told me I looked like an elephant.

8. Tell you that you look tired.

9. Insist that you breastfeed your unborn baby.

10. Ask if the baby was an accident.

How else are they ever going to learn?

 

Image via Scary Mommy