Babies change different people in different ways, but there's one universal transformation for which all new parents should brace themselves -- your baby will make you a liar. Scoff if you will, but it's true. Even if you've been George-Washington honest your whole life, they'll turn you into Pinocchio before you know what hits you.
Giuliana Rancic recently realized this and told People how before she had a baby, she swore she'd never wave to her child during a live interview and say hi to him. She lied. “Okay, people do that all the time on the red carpet when I’m interviewing them at the Emmys or at the Oscars and I’m always like, ‘Really?’ And now I’ve done it twice today!”
It happens to all of us, in a variety of different ways. But it's inevitable really, and as your kids grow, so does the pile of lies. Here are seven ways my children have made a liar out of me.
1. I swore I'd never drive a minivan.
Hello Honda Odyssey, the most convenient car in the world for hauling around kids. Let me count the ways I love thee.
2. I swore I'd never let my kids wear clothing with cartoon characters emblazoned on them.
I've managed to limit them to pajamas and underwear so far, but when your little princess is begging for a princess shirt with those sweet big eyes, good taste takes a back seat.
3. I swore I'd never use saliva to clean their faces.
A mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do, even if it is disgusting.
More from The Stir: 5 Lies Every Parent Should Tell Their Kids
4. I swore I'd never have a sticky, messy disaster of a car.
You know that aforementioned minivan I love so much? It may soon make the Superfund list of hazardous waste sites.
5. I swore I'd never raise my voice when addressing them.
6. I swore I'd never use food as a bribe.
Double, super-sized sigh.
7. I swore I never wanted to have kids.
Now I want nothing more than what's best for them.
What things has your child made you lie about?
Image via alainlm/Flickr